If only he loved me too novel Chapter 11

Shh...listen, don't you hear?

I'm crying, but they are silent tears.

I'm crying on the inside so you can't see

all the pain running through me.

I cry for you, I cry for me.

I cry for the times I can't,

so if you listen, you may hear my silent tears.

-Amanda smith

The sky weeps for me and so does the grass, the world filled with joy is weeping in tears. I wish I could not feel this... this sadness, this fear. 

People in the black walk up to me with sad faces or white roses, some hug me and some just smile sadly, all I could was lean on my wheelchair and hold my broken pieces together. it's hard, faking to be ok, is hard.

"Oh, my baby," Adeline wrapped her arms around and cried, she embraced in her warm body and wept for her grandson, her only grandson who was the last connection she had to her son. I can't relate to the pain she is feeling and here she was trying to console me, a brave soul she is. silent tears slip out of my tired eyes and I held her tighter because she needed it more than I do. 

"Adaline, please don't stress her out, she is already a wreck," Robert told his wife and gently pulled her away from me, he kissed me on the head and patted my back, "Be strong my child, " with a sad smile he moved away to attend some more guests. 

I wheeled myself closer to the cascade that was sitting on top of the hole in the ground waiting to be let down, I placed my hand on top and laid my head on it "I didn't answer your question" I whispered into the wooden cascade "I never said I loved you because I do, I love you so, damn much. so much that it hurts, and I never got a chance to say it," I cried wetting a patch. "I promise to find out what happened that night, I promise to make them pay" I kissed the cascade and moved back 

I watched the cascade being lowered into the ground as the priest kept on talking, I know what he is saying but couldn't seem to concentrate, I watch him being lowered into the ground where he will rest for good, tears flowing freely down my face and I couldn't seem care.

I was handed a handful of soil and was asked to pour on top of the lowered cascade, I can do it and promise myself to avenge him.

"I Love you, Dimtri, I always have and always will." I throw a red rose as well before kissing it. 

Everything happened so fast, and it was time for the service. I met some more people before excusing myself to go rest, John helped me up to Dimitri's room in the mansion. I thanked him and explored his room in my wheelchair.

It was not a typical teenager's room, the walls were dark grey, with a king-size bed, study table, couch, walk-in-closet, and a huge window. this room is on the third floor so the view was breathtaking, I was so engrossed in the view that I didn't hear Robert come in.

"I was going to grill that window, you know?" he said in a warm, heavy voice he walked to stand beside me looking through the window as well

"Why?" I asked because he paused