Judas kiss novel Chapter 85

"I'm only allowing you to stay here because you're like a son to me. Also not ignoring the fact that you might relapse as soon as you walk out of my sight." Garreth said cautiously. "I have a thirteen year old staying here and I swear to God if you influence him or teach him anything... I will not hesitate putting my hands on you."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. Everything... you have done for me." Ignacio said rigid in his stance.

"Alright.." Garreth said softly. "Everything is all stocked up, I think you want to freshen up. Breakfast is in an hour. I'm bringing a barber to give you a hair cut..."

Ignacio ran his right hand through his shoulder length voluminous jet black hair. He knew Garreth was right, he needed to start over. From his hair to his clothing to his attitude towards life.

"That's if you want to have a hair cut.." Garreth added.

"I do, I want a new start."

Garreth nodded.

"Has Spencer reached out?"

"No.." Ignacio replied.

"If he does, let me know."

"Don't kill him, he was just—"

"I won't, I just want to know if he is okay. You're both like my sons, I would never want anything happening to you both. I practically raised you.. I feel I'm somehow responsible for every life decision you both ever made."

Ignacio nodded, eyes glistening with tears. It was weird, he was worried about who will pick him up from rehab but even more scared when he saw Garreth waiting for him in the psychiatrist's office. Now he just felt overwhelmed.

"It's not your fault." Ignacio replied wiping a tear away. "I own up to everything I did."

"Im glad." He paused. "I will give you some time to brief me a business idea that you want to start. I will invest in it, let's start from there. I don't want you anywhere near any of my clubs. Especially club Savannah, stay away from all your old friends."

"Thank you, Garreth." Was the only thing Ignacio could say. He was fully overwhelmed that anyone cared about him. Not after what he did—

"You're good looking young man, Ignacio. I don't know how these things work but... Spencer isn't worth it. Not worth your life or your tears. Love is bullshit but I assure that you will find someone deserving alright?"

"Yeah.." Ignacio sniveled. "Thanks!"

"Alright wash up, breakfast is in an hour." Garreth said finally leaving him in his own space. Alone to process his thoughts, the first thing he thought to do was contact Luc. He didn't like the way things ended, he remembered all the good times he had with Luc. How they danced, had shots, watched the sunset from his balcony on top of club Savannah. He took it for granted because he was busy trying really hard to impress someone who didn't even care about him at all.

Ignacio didn't hate Spencer. He hated himself for having gone that far ahead with madness. Now he had ruined their friendship and most probably the only person who cared about him with sincere fondness. He ruined that. Not sure if Spencer would ever return or if he was alright.. Ignacio looked at the reflection that stated back at him on the mirror. He hated this image, absolutely loathed it. Looking through the drawers in his conjoined bathroom, he found a scissor. Ofcourse there had to be one. Not wasting anytime, Ignacio almost immediately started cutting off streaks of his jet black hair. Getting some sort of satisfaction from the way it fell onto the floor.

In about fifteen minutes, he looked on the mirror facing his unevenly cut hair. It was a good change. He hadn't had short hair for good eight years. He looked different. More approachable. For the first in so long Ignacio gave himself a smile. Now he could have a proper bath.

So he did.

He thought about all the things he wanted to changed about himself. His therapist from Rehab had told him to write a list of things he wants to change about himself and people around him. People he wants to personally apologize to. People he wants to cut off.

There was a knock on the door by the time he was done wearing the clothes that's Garreth had temporarily given him to wear until they could go buy new clothes. It was just a long sleeve woolen jersey and some plain jeans.