Kylie Bray (Love, Hate and Billions) novel Chapter 21

It is six months since I have seen Vincent and I admit I still check his status updates.

Spying the news channels hoping I will get to see him in the background somewhere.

It doesn't get easier with time, it doesn't make you feel better. Everyday is a struggle, but I am slowly healing. I have no choice but to get through it. I see the error of things, I understand that my feelings for him is one sided and it must have been what made him so horrible to me.

I imagine if I was him, then I stop imagining.

Recently, when I am not getting over Vincent, or spending time with Diamond, I use my time getting to know another guy, hoping I could eventually move on, even if my heart isn't in it.

My cheeks flush thinking about him, he is a sexy man and great kisser.

Two months ago I went to The Satan Sniper’s clubhouse to visit my friend, Zero and brother, Kevin when I was basically left melting on the floor by a very hot and familiar biker, Storm.

He flirted with me relentlessly. And in those moments I admit I didn't think much about Vincent, and I was glad for that time. We ended the evening exchanging numbers.

Since then I’ve been in a tidal wave of hot flushes and red cheek blushes.

But old wounds die hard, they never really heal. Vincent hurt me so much WITH his words, and thoughtless vices that sometimes Storm's nice ways and charm overloads me.

It is hard once you become used of getting treated a certain way, that anything else is unwelcome. And it takes me a few minutes at times to scream at myself, so I can get it together, because I didn't have a relationship with Vincent.

I am just a fucked up nineteen year old in love with my stepbrother who doesn't care if I am hurt by his words. Who just wanted me gone and I have given him that.

I am gone from his life.

With Storm I am in unknown territory. His kisses at moments become too much that I run.

When I mean run, I mean I keep him on the peg , hanging.

I’m no virgin, I lost that at sixteen to a Russians diplomats son. Good times.

Guess I’m just cautious.

Do I still love Vincent? Yes, I will always love Vincent.

But as I said, sometimes the ones you love need to stay in your heart , and far from your life.

I understand that more than anyone.

There are moments when I am with Storm that I feel so free, so alive. I hold on to the hope that he can be a long lasting distraction for me while I learn to find a permanent cure to my sickness of loving Vincent Stone.

Stretching my neck, I get up off my bed. My long tight black denims are still unbuttoned around my waist, showing a sliver of my red silk panties. Whilst my zebra style laces hang loosely on the sides of my black Jordan’s.

My phone chimes, and my head drops staring at my pocket in two minds to answer it.

The music downstairs is pumping with some R&B crap that I would soon be changing to good ole country.