Love Me in the Dark novel Chapter 14

RIVER

Krew calmed down a little bit. His cold hands stopped from shaking, but I could still see the horror in his eyes that I wished I could take it away, but how would I if I didn’t know the reason? Perhaps, a traumatic childhood? My heart ached for him. Poor boy. I couldn’t even begin to imagine a boy Krew looked frightened.

I wished he could just share it with me. I wanted to know him deeper, and I was willing to gamble and share something with him. I had hope that he would open up to me, but I knew sharing something that we wished didn’t happen was difficult, especially to someone we barely knew. It was just unfair that he seemed to know a lot about me while I knew nothing about him.

I wanted to trust him despite everything that had happened between us. I wanted to trust him with everything, but how? When he couldn’t even consider me as his friend?

“You’ll be okay.” I ran my thumb on his cheek as I kept my gaze on his beautiful terrified eyes. It was somewhat alarming how I could easily see how vulnerable he was. I guessed he let me in this time. He let me in even for a moment like this. So I let my guard down.

Courage pulsated through me. “There’s no reason for you to be scared. It can’t hurt you. It can never hurt you, and I am here. I would never leave beside you,” I reassured him despite there was no guarantee. I still wanted to help him even in return, I earned nothing.

“I-I know.” He finally let go of a deep and long shuddering breath. “Don’t leave me, River.” I felt the grip loosening from him, and I let his hand go. He tentatively reached out to my face. “I know you won’t leave me.” His voice dropped to a whisper. He moistened his lips as he dropped his gaze down to my face, settling on my lips. Tension suddenly thickened in the air, filling the room.

Then I felt that I knew what would happen next. I forced to suppress a shudder, but the anticipation had made my sense hypersensitive--his breaths sounded louder. My heart thudded against my chest as he ran his thumb on my cheek down to my lips.

Heat radiated through my flesh as I watched his reaction—his pupils dilated, darkened even more—almost obsidian.

His gaze darted back to my eyes, then dropped down to my lips again. He hadn’t kissed me yet, but the anticipation of feeling and tasting those lips again was killing me. Oh, god. I was burning and melting inside.

Just do it, Krew.

He sighed heavily in relief, and he just killed my anticipation into the icy cold as he released his hands, looked out the dark window, and inspected if the rain had stopped.

Buzzkill.

I inwardly groaned and leaned against the desk. I now felt the cold of the floor against my skin. What was I thinking? He was drunk when he first kissed me, and right now, he wasn’t. There was no way he would kiss me even if he was scared shitless.

He hadn’t said anything, and I couldn’t say anything as well. My skin was still vibrating with our almost kiss encounter. I was in heat like a cat not a moment ago, and now I was chilling cold.

I got the cue. When I got my courage back, and he seemed okay, I rose to my feet and walked out of the office before I could curse the hell out of him and break our arrangement. The worse part was, he didn’t even stop me.

I drew the curtain and got back to bed. A few moments later, before I put myself in slumber, I heard a soft knock on my door.

“You know you have a key, Krew. I’m lazy to get up,” I yelled enough for him to hear me. I was optimistic. I knew it was him.

The light from the hallway entered the room, then his shadow hovered.

“You left,” he said. His voice was low and deep.

“You seemed okay back there.” I didn’t make a move even if I could sense his closeness. I was not ready to let him see an ounce of my embarrassment.

“I wasn’t, but I’m an adult.” He flicked the lamp on the nightstand before the bed set deep. He must have taken the liberty to sit on my bed.

“And?”

“I almost pushed beyond my limit.” He sounded regretful. Is that how he called it now? Screw him and his self-control.

“And you’re here because?” I still didn’t turn to see his face.

“I regretted that I didn’t stop you.”

“You said it yourself that you were okay.”

“I was okay from the rain, but I wasn’t okay for making a move then stopped myself.”

I snorted. “I should get used to it by now. It wasn’t the first time.”

He moved, the next thing I knew, his hand was draping around my waist.

“You know this won’t work, right?” How stupid? This was exactly what I wanted, yet my brain was fighting against my lust and heart.

“A man could try.” Try harder. Maybe by then, I give in.