Mated in the Shadow of My Sister novel Chapter 89

Chapter 0089

(Lily POV)

Tonight with James has been perfect.

It was supposed to only be a dinner between two friends, but it quickly became much more than that. Whether it was a date or not ultimately does not matter. The fact is that James put a lot of effort into

making tonight special for me, and I have had a lot of fun.

Actually… no… It goes beyond fun. I have genuinely enjoyed spending time with James. In fact, I wish I could spend more time with him. I now understand why the Moon Goddess paired us together. But for

everything else, I think we could have made each other really happy.

Unfortunately, it is the “everything else that scares me. And not just a little bit.

The fear in me is so palpable that as James and I get back into his car and head back to the resort–I

feel my brain and my emotions start to go into panic mode.

In less than 12 hours, James has managed to convince me that he has changed. He has also managed. to remind me of the wolf that he once was before everything happened. Worse, James has made my heart desperately want to see if our mate bond can be salvaged.

The problem is that while my heart is ready to dive right back in- my head is filled with nothing but. doubts, concerns, and questions. For example:

—James actively and intentionally hurt me for six years. How can I forgive all of that in just one afternoon? The (broken) mate bond may be powerful, but surely I am smarter than to forgive him that quickly.

–Forgiving James comes with risks… am I willing to take them?

–Forgiving James comes with complications… am willing to face them?

nothing but blindly and unconditionally support me, and he has shown me what it feels like to be wanted and desired. He has also given me a home and a pack when I had nothing else. Am I really ready to let someone like him go?

If I do pick James over Brady, will Dr. and Mrs. Hyder still want me in their lives? They are like the

parents that I never had, but if I hurt their oldest son, will they still want me around? =

Even if everything else can be worked out, am I too damaged to go back to James and West

Mountain? Is it simply healthier for me to move on? I do not have panic attacks like this at Brady’s pack.

Doesn’t that mean something?

Ultimately, I do not know the answers to any of these questions, and the war between my head and my heart makes me feel like a big part of me is suffocating right now. I do not know what I want, and I do not know what to do.