My Dad's Bestfriend novel Chapter 177

Evelyn

I stumbled into my room, a complete wreck, eyes swollen from the tears I couldn't hold back. What I didn't expect was Clara. The room was bathed in the soft glow of the lamp—so unlike the usual darkness I hid in. She sat on the edge of my bed, waiting, her presence startling me.

“Clara?” I wiped at my face, trying to clear the tears with shaky hands. But to my surprise, she didn’t react—no shock, no questions. It was as if she’d known.

Of course, she did. Jacob must’ve told them he was leaving, and they all knew he wouldn’t go without saying goodbye to me.

“So, he told you?” Clara’s voice was soft, her lips curving into a melancholic smile. Her gaze flickered down to the wine bottle clutched in my hand, and she let out a resigned sigh. “Drinking won’t fix this, Evelyn. Come here.”

She stood and opened her arms to me, her gesture so familiar, so full of understanding.

For a moment, I hesitated, afraid that if I let myself fall apart, I’d never be able to stop. But this was Clara—she’d seen me at my worst, seen every scar and every broken piece I’d tried to hide. Breaking down in front of her wouldn’t hurt me. It wouldn’t cost me anything.

So, I moved toward her. The moment her arms wrapped around me, something in me shattered. The sob I had been so determined to keep down erupted, violent and unstoppable. My body convulsed with the force of it.

Fuck! This was exactly why I didn’t want to cry. It always fucking broke me into pieces.

“It’s alright,” she whispered, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. “Sometimes, it’s okay to not know what to do. To take more time than you think you should. It’s okay to make mistakes, Evelyn. And it’s okay to not be okay.” Her words were soft, like a balm over a wound too deep to heal. But I knew nothing could truly soothe this.

No amount of comfort, no distraction, and no drink could numb the ache. I felt hollow inside—ripped apart by guilt. Guilt for hurting Jacob. Guilt for what Cameron would go through if I followed my heart.

The weight of all the things I couldn’t control—the things that hadn’t happened yet but would, the things that could—pressed down on me. I felt like I was drowning in them. I was worried sick. Suffocated.

“I don’t know what to do, Clara.” My voice cracked between sobs. “No matter what I choose, someone will get hurt. I can’t do that to them. Jacob… I know he’s strong, but that doesn’t mean I should put him through this. And Cameron… he’s done so much, even knowing that Jacob’s always been in my heart. I do love him, but it’s not the same. It’s never been the same. I have no idea what the fuck I am supposed to do. I feel trapped.”

“Hey, Evelyn. Look at me.” Clara gently cupped my face, her thumbs brushing away the tears as she held my gaze. “It’s okay to hurt people sometimes, for your own sake. You need to think about your happiness, sweetheart. Because in the end, if you aren’t whole, life will feel impossible to live. You can’t always carry the weight of making everyone else happy. I’m not saying you should be selfish, but you need to be compassionate with yourself. It’s not okay to sacrifice your happiness, to bury what you want, what your heart craves, for anyone or anything in this world.”