My Dad's Bestfriend novel Chapter 62

Jacob

As I watched her leave, I crumbled from within. It took every ounce of strength to resist the urge to rush to her and admit that every word I had uttered was nothing but a fucking lie. Just fucking lies I made sound like the only truth.

Fuck...

The way she had stood at my doorstep, wearing that delicate white dress, her hair still slightly damp, eyes reddened, and the traces of the previous night's turmoil etched on her face— it broke me. She seemed so fragile and broken, as if the gentlest touch might shatter her further.

What had I done? Damn it!

A defeated sigh escaped my lips. The memory of her tear-stained face, the pain in her eyes, and the tremor in her voice haunted my thoughts. I had already hurt her deeply, and now, with the hurtful words I had spoken, I knew I had pushed her far away. I had set fire to the bridge that connected me to my life, my dreams, my peace, and everything I held dear.

She had been the only light I'd ever found in this dark existence, and I had just extinguished it. But, I had to do it, to make it easier for her to move on.

"Shit, Danica, You fucked me up pretty bad," I cursed, running my fingers through my hair.

I could hardly catch my breath at this point. She looked utterly broken. Even the faintest hint of the smile that had always adorned her beautiful face was absent. Her eyes had spoken volumes, even though she hadn't said a word. I could sense every emotion she must have felt, every ounce of pain and anger.

I just broke the most perfect thing I had ever found.

She was everything I had ever longed for in this life. Before her, things were good, but they were far from perfect. I went through life, laughing and passing the days like any other, but after her... I felt complete. I had a reason to keep living, to cherish someone.

She was my missing piece... goddamn it!

So why did I push away the one person I had ever truly loved from the depths of my heart?

Because... she deserved better.

Yeah I know it's a stupid reason but, that was it. Just it!

She didn't deserve to spend her life merely tending to the wounds of my past. She deserved someone better than me, someone who wouldn't leave her with regret, someone who was simply right for her. She shouldn't have to spend her entire life untangling the mess of my past. She was young, with so much left to explore in this world. Perhaps, while this relationship had become the sole purpose of my life, it would eventually become just a distant memory for her as she moved forward with her own life.

Yes, I was a coward. I couldn't bear the thought of her looking back one day and regretting choosing someone like me.

I did not have the courage to be her regret...because I knew what it was like to have one.

My life was a labyrinth of fucked-up memories and hidden traumas, ready to pounce on me when I least expected it. Why would I ever want the person I loved to constantly tiptoe around my emotional landmines?

No, I couldn't do that to her. Yet, it was excruciatingly difficult to stay away from her. The memory of her face, the warmth of her breath, the silky touch of her skin against mine—how could I ever grow accustomed to not having her in my arms?

I knew I couldn't live without her, but I also had compelling reasons to keep my distance. She stood to lose more than I did if we ended up together, and sooner or later, it might lead her to regret her choices. I was painfully aware of the burden of regret, how it could hang over your shoulder for a lifetime, a constant weight on your heart.