Evelyn
"Are you sure you're okay?" Clara asked, lifting a sandwich to my lips. "You seem different."
"Why?" I asked, my brow furrowing as I took a bite, “Did you spend a year moping around after your first heartbreak, crying for someone who clearly didn't care about you, or did you turn into a depressed woman starved for love?"
I could sense her surprise at my response. I couldn't blame her; my friends were all reacting the same way. They expected me to act like a heartbroken woman, crying and drowning in grief. Perhaps I should have, but for some reason, I couldn't. I didn’t know why but I also didn’t try to figure out any of it.
I felt strangely numb. Everything seemed oddly normal because I had, to some extent, shut down my emotions, shutting out everything that hurt.
"Well, not really, but you were acting completely different last night," she said, wiping the corner of my mouth with a handkerchief. "Are you sure you're okay, Evelyn? You don't have to pretend. I'm here for you."
Was I pretending?
No, absolutely not. As long as I could keep him and those painful memories buried in the darkest corners of my mind, I'd be fine. And I had every intention of keeping them buried for a really long time.
"I'm just trying to keep myself busy, Clara," I sighed, “I don't want to waste any more thoughts on that cold-hearted bastard and I am done wasting my tears too. He's out there fucking his ex, so at the very least, I need to go back to living a somewhat normal life like I used to before him."
"So, you're avoiding the pain instead of confronting it," she said, her eyes softening. "Evelyn, I'm telling you, it's not a good idea. When it finally hits you, it will hurt more than you can imagine."
"I think it hit me the hardest when I saw him with that bitch today," I chuckled softly. "And since he's moved on so quickly, I should too."
Yes, I could manage to keep him out of my mind for good. It wasn't a big deal. I had been fine before him, and I would be fine after him.
"Evelyn," Clara began, her expression filled with concern. "You can't just avoid the pain and move on. You can't move on unless you face it. Your dad and I have been in your shoes before. The longer you ignore it, the tighter it grips you—harder when you least expect it."
I will not let it hit me….
Neither, I won’t allow him nor his memories to hurt me.
"Relax, cutie pie," A soft laugh escaped my mouth as I took another bite of the sandwich. "I'll be fine, and besides, why worry when I have you? I know you'll help me through this mess."
"Evie..."
"No lectures, Clara. Trust me, I'm fine, and I'll stay fine at least until this wedding is over," I interrupted, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Now, feed me. I'm starving."
I knew Clara had plenty to say, but I also understood that she didn't want to spoil the moment. Right now, I was in a temporary state of contentment, even though both of us knew that it might not last long, she didn't want to disrupt it. So, in the end, she sighed in defeat and resumed feeding me.
"I didn't sign up to babysit a five-year-old when I decided to marry Samuel," she chuckled.
"Too bad, you're stuck with me now."
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