My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 32

I collapsed onto the floor.

I killed Garett...I killed Garett...I killed Garett...

I let Garett die in my first life because of my mistakes...

I was a psychological mess and had been under severe stress both mentally and physically and forgotten about it all before I died.

I did not want to remember this!

Only now can I make sense of my real memories. My instability led me to take my own life along with my child. That is probably why I did not hesitate one moment when I tried to kill myself knowing full well that I was pregnant.

I probably hated that child growing inside of me that much...

"You killed Garett and me," a grown up Erik said as he slowly approached me.

He was wearing his crown and inauguration outfit.

"You are not real," I said as I gripped my skirt.

He kneeled before me and placed his hand over my cheek.

The hallucination I created was so real that I could even feel heat radiating from his touch.

"Ari, I am very real..."

I jumped back slightly and began holding in my chest that felt like it wanted to pop out.

"No..."

Erik took the book off of the display and began flipping through the pages as he walked around with the book.

"Society is constantly going through a pattern of advancement and destruction. To uncover the mysteries of our ancestors, we have to look into their past and learn from their mistakes. Sometimes the answer to our current problems lies in the past. A time ridden with war...barbarians running amok...the once in a while scientific breakthrough. No matter what happened, they destroyed themselves in the end because there will always be idiots walking amongst ourselves."

"I am the idiot..."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Ari...You have done very well to support Arundel. Without you, Arundel would not have grown to become one of the strongest nations in military or trade power. Even your help in deciphering Asmarian language helped medicine develop so far. You have saved millions of people. The only cost were the people you loved. Every time you made an advancement, someone slipped through your fingers as it was for Garett and for me."

It suddenly felt like my chest was being compressed by an overbearing weight. His tone was gentle, but every word cut deeply in my soul.

"...I never intended to hurt you," I said as tears fell down my face.

Erik dropped the book a far distance away and brought me into his strong embrace.

"...Are you willing to forgive yourself yet?"

"Erik?"

"I thought that if I told you the words you wanted to hear; you could find some closure."

"Closure?"

"I don't blame you, Arielle...not for anything. The only one who blames you is yourself. You are kind to others, but never to yourself. That was one of the reasons I fell for you, but this has to stop. You cannot keep blaming yourself for things that are not your fault."

My hands shakily held onto him.

"Why..."

Why does he feel so real?

"If anyone, I am the person that you cannot forgive."