My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 81

It is my fault the world becomes distorted...

Everything I said earlier pointed out that my love for Prince Erik was the sole reason for his death. I learned that his own father and current King Arundel abandoned his own lover for political power. To anyone else who did not understand a Noble's duty, doing that would be abominable, but I understood him fully and would have done the same thing if I were him.

As a Prince, he was trained since young to be fair and righteous. His retainers gave him limited toys, would purposefully give him tasteless food along with tasty food, and eliminated anything he especially liked as well. Each action was made in order to condition Prince Erik in order to avoid creating a tyrant who lived on violence and greed.

Even I as his would be fiancée was chosen because of several factors consisting of my family's pedigree, education, beauty, fertility, ability to be fair, and slightly dull personality that would make it difficult to get strongly attached to.

I ruined it all...

While I was receiving education on how to be a proper Crown Princess, I was constantly told not to think that I owned Prince Erik's heart.

Many of my predecessors fell to ruin that way and either made a mess of the harems by spreading rumors of each other, hitting each other, and even poisoning each other. When they realized that they could still not win the Kings' love, they either hung themselves, cut themselves, and or went mad.

On our wedding day, he swore to love and protect me through everything. I just smiled bitterly because I knew that he could not do that because of his position. One wife does not automatically put me above the rest of the kingdom. I loved him and considered him as my Hero, but that did not mean that I wanted him to choose me over kingdom. Having such thoughts would only mean ruin to the kingdom.

Our relationship was toxic because of his deep devotion to me. I ruined him when I desired his love and made him develop a need to protect me. He encountered many hardships in order to protect me. Some of them consisted of him ignoring his Advisors in taking anymore brides for political marriages and constantly pushing himself with more work than necessary.

He does not care enough for himself. When he encountered me, his thoughts clouded from his need to protect me. That is why he did not hesitate to jump in front of a dagger despite being King.

That is the most unforgivable act he could do as a ruler...act on emotions.

I tried to break off everything in order to redo our love so that it would not be possible this time again.

"I can assure Prince Erik a life of happiness by exiting his life. I was the one being led on a ruse," I said to myself as I covered my face with my hands. "Haha...this is true despair."

I told him that I hated him because his love was overbearing. That could not be further from the truth.

I wanted to drown in his love but at what cost?

He was the type to give his all for everything including love even if it meant hurting himself, so I had to do it. I had to become the necessary evil to change him to a person who puts rationality above his own feelings.

By doing so, he will never try to sacrifice himself again for someone else...

I felt sorry about his next partner but also wanted him to learn how to be a little more self-centered from our messed-up relationship.

The rain had come down in a downpour on my body as I walked back to the Academy after getting off of my carriage halfway.

I wanted to walk a little longer in the rain. I felt as if the world was crying at my misery with me when the grey skies started pouring rain down on me and my self-pity.

Usually, I would have hated the rain. However, today I felt unusually comforted by how the rain made my entire body go numb.

I soon saw an umbrella go over my head.

"Arielle..."

Along with the pitter patter sounds of the rain, a familiar voice and face came by to soothe my heart as if it were predetermined by a cruel God.

"Garett..."

Did he come looking for me in this rain?

"Follow me...You are soaked to the bone," Garett said as he pulled me by his hand.

Garett brought me back to his room and handed me a towel over my head for me to clean myself off.

"...I am going to start the bath for you," Garett said as he went to the bathroom.