My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 98

My memories of my past life end with Erik's stabbing. My last memories of my first life consisted of me learning for the first time that I was pregnant through the Royal Doctor. I went to my appointment with Dolton Grass right afterwards. Instead of Dolton, I met with Kaya Ouchi who laid in wait with a dagger in her hands. To protect me, Erik had used his body and accidentally got hurt. What happened afterwards continues to be a blur.

I had been lacking memories of my past life as well. If I force myself to keep recounting the memories, a little more of the details become clearer each time. I procured a memory enhancing drug from the black market and took it in my room alone. I chose not to drink it before because it was incredibly unsafe to drink as it could possibly make the individual taking it very nauseous, experience excruciating pain, and even possibly having one's mind broken if the memories are too traumatic for the user to bear on their own.

All of this unease of not being able to remember anything properly will end today. I will drink the vial with the memory enhancing drug.

You have pushed me this far, Erik...

I felt excruciating headaches for a while before some scenes started appearing more clearly in my memories. I dropped the vial in my hand when an image of my own death popped up into my mind.

It was then that I remembered Erik and I both died that day. I killed myself right after I assumed Erik died on my lap, which is unthinkable considering I was pregnant and that a doctor had not yet confirmed Erik's death since only a doctor could confirm someone's death.

The flow of memories stopped right after I killed myself. I only used a small amount of the memory enhancing drug because using too much could result in a higher risk of having mental degradation, but that was enough for now. I saved the rest for some other time if I possibly needed it.

The current headache was enough to make me nearly faint...Using drugs like that to make my memory return is not an option that I want to rely on. Also, the memory of my own death was excruciatingly painful. Digging up the memory made me recall the overwhelming sadness, hopelessness, and the despair I felt continued to make my heart suffer.

If Erik died, I would have tortured Kaya Ouchi by cutting off all of her fingers and then her limbs and then punished her collaborators in the same fashion. There is no way that I would have been as sweet as to let them all off while Erik and I would die by ourselves.

Something told me that Queen Gaelle had something to do with my suicide attempt as well.