After She's Terminal The Alpha Regrets (Elaine and Lucas) novel Chapter 309

Lucas knew the question was coming, he knew it was, but it still hit him hard. He was still failing her. Actively. Currently. There was nothing he could do about it…except, perhaps this.

For the sake of his own pride he wanted to refuse her. He hated the idea of letting her go and he wanted to be selfish until the very end. But he knew that in this moment, he could not longer be like that.

He couldn’t keep her for himself because she had never really been his in the first place. As much as he wanted to argue with her, for once, he wouldn’t.

For once maybe he could actually do the right thing and let her go.

“Okay.”

The answer is so simply and spoken so quietly that for a moment Elaine thinks she might have misheard him. But no. He’d agreed.

A faint smile touched her lips. Relief, maybe. “Thank you.”

Lucas lowers his head briefly. “Don’t thank me.”

“You’re finally…agreeing,” she mumbled.

“You sound relieved.”

“I am.”

Lucas grimaced but tried not to show how much that comment hurt. “I want to be selfish.”

“I know you do,” Elaine said, focusing on him briefly. “But I won’t be around long enough to even be mad at you if you were.”

Lucas nodded grimly. He reached out and offered her a hand. “Sit up.”

She grabbed hold of his hand and he realized the moment she tried to use it to sit up she hadn’t the strength to even pull herself up. So he used his other hand at her shoulder to sit her up.

She exhaled slowly. “Can you open the window?” she mumbled.

Lucas didn’t question it and got up. He strode to the far wall.

“There is…no way for us too…” he said, his hand on the latch at the window.

“No.” The response came easily. “Not after Ayla.”

Lucas gritted his teeth. He undid the latch and opened the window. Fresh air drifted into the room. He remained there for a moment.

Elaine had no desire to try and mend what little remained of their relationship now. She’d already given him more chances than he deserved during their marriage. She wasn’t going to continue that now.

Lucas leaned against the window sill, hands balled into fists against it. The fresh air helped calm him. But not by much.

“We had…we had some good times, though. Right?”

Elaine chuckled, which devolved into a fit of coughing. She cleared her throat. “Maybe near the start.”

“Our wedding day, for one,” Lucas mused and turned back to face her. “I never told you how beautiful you were in that gown.”

Elaine managed a faint smile. “Only took you seven years.”

“Almost eight now,” Lucas mumble.

She straightened slightly. “Our anniversary.”

“It’s in two days,” Lucas said. “Not that it matters. We’re not married anymore.”

Fall was just around the corner. It’d start getting colder soon. She remembered their wedding day took place right before fall. Right before the leaves would turn color.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long…” Elaine mumbled. “All those years.”

“Wasted in your eyes, I imagine.”

Elaine shook her head slowly. “Not entirely. It wasn’t all regrets…”

Lucas returned to the bed, sitting down at the edge of it. He looked at her. She looked at him.