Alpha’s Regret: Begging For My Luna Back novel Chapter 145

When I decided it was better to take everyone who survived the attack on the Eternal pack to ours, I didn’t anticipate that my parents would end up having to stay with me because our pack house was full and we had to take some of the people in and it was expected that my parents were going to stay with me.

The next morning, I watched them. My chest felt tight. My mother, who always seemed too busy was playing with Isabella. She braided her hair softly, which surprised me but maybe it’s because they thought Isabella was Alice’s daughter so they already had a connection with her.

My father though, the man who usually didn’t talk much, was laughing with Marco. He threw Marco gently in the air. They were acting like perfect grandparents. This was everything I wanted when I was young but never got because of them.

I felt sick to my stomach. How could they be so… present? So kind, so caring? It was very different from how they were when I was with them. They were cold and distant back then. They never held me like that. They never showed me that kind of easy love. It made the old pain come back,the quiet thoughts come back.

Seeing them act like perfect grandparents was nice for my children. But for me, it hurt. It showed me what I never got.

At least now I know that my father doesn’t owe me nothing because he just wanted his mate back and he had to accept that she was coming with baggage but in order to make her mate happy she decided to throw that baggage away.

Later that day, my mother found me in the den, looking out at the woods. The familiar woods felt changed, somehow dirty, because she was here. She walked in quietly and slowly, like a hunter. Her sharp, watchful eyes met mine. there was a time when I admired everything about her but now I can’t help but hate her for not wanting me and not trying with me instead she gave Alice all of her attention in front of me.

“You don’t want us here, Faith,” she said. Her voice was flat. She sounded like she wasn’t blaming me, but she spoke a truth I couldn’t argue with. “I know that. And I know you don’t want to see us ever again.”

I wish she didn’t do this whole speech thing because I want nothing to do with them and no speech is never going to change that.

“But we are here,” she went on. Her eyes looked a little softer. “Because we have no choice. And you have no choice but to be our Luna. But while we are here,” she stopped. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I want to do one last thing for you. Something that might help you. Help all of us.” I would be surprised if she wanted to help me while she doesn’t gain anything and I didn’t want to hear it but she wasn’t leaving so I had to listen.

I got ready to know what this was about. What could she offer that I would ever want? Probably more money.

“I can teach you,” she said, speaking softer. “About the white wolf. About your special powers.”

“No,” I said firmly. My heart was beating fast in my chest. “I don’t want your help.”

“Faith,” she said. Her voice became more urgent. “You are the only one who can stop him. The only one who can control what is going to happen. I spent much time with your father’s pack, with his people. I learned things. Things about the white wolf, about how to use that power. I know how to help you.”

My mind went fast. Kyle. The bad things he did, the fear he made me feel.

The words felt bad in my mouth. “Fine,” I said. It was just one word, but it meant I gave in. I didn’t expect to. “Teach me.”

Dinner that night was difficult. My mother kept watching me. Then, in her direct way that made me uneasy, she asked, “Where is Astor, Faith? He is your mate and he is the father of your children. Why isn’t he eating dinner with us?”

My stomach tightened. He was outside, fighting to keep his own pack safe. everybody is worried that our pack is next so I know he is still trying to figure out what the next move should be.

“He’s very busy,” I said, faking a smile.

I don’t want to know what he is doing because I don’t care and I’m glad that he respected my decision and he is doing everything he can not to come in front of me.

My father nodded. “Yes. We don’t know what’s going to happen now. He must be busy with that.”

The rest of dinner went by quickly with polite talk and the sound of forks and knives. Later, I took Isabella and Marco to their room. As I put them to bed, I saw something new in Isabella’s eyes. A gentle look, a feeling of being close. She moved closer to me, her small hand reaching for mine. It felt like she was starting to feel it too, the strong pull of family, the quiet feeling of a real mother’s love. A warm feeling grew in my chest. It was a small, hopeful moment against the coldness that had been in my life. Maybe, just maybe, good things could still grow.

However ever since the attack happened I can’t stop thinking about the fact that seer told my parents that I will either end the world or it will end me.

I don’t want to die because I have two kids who need their mother but what if it’s time because I know for a fact that I will stop Kyle with everything and anything in me even if it means dying.