Alpha’s Regret: Begging For My Luna Back novel Chapter 19

Faith’s Pov

I was so incredibly tired. Every breath I took in this pack, every moment drained me. I hated it here. I truly hated being here.

But Astor wouldn’t let me go. That much was clear. And I desperately needed to find my father. I didn’t want to think about Alice or everything.

So, I decided to stay quiet. I decided to hide my anger and do exactly what he wanted, which was to stay here. Like a prisoner. Because that’s how I was treated. Maybe a fancy prison, but a prison all the same.

The Luna made it clear that I was on my own and I would never expect any help from anybody around here, so I lived my vain life.

Astor who used to stay away, like a shadow, was now always near me, a heavy feeling on my every move. He seemed to want to know my every step, my every choice, my very presence.

I wanted to lock myself in my room and never show my face again. Alice’s revelation from that day still echoed in my ears. But after the second day, I just couldn’t. Being shut in was worse than anything Alice could throw at me. I needed air. And I needed a real connection. I needed to breathe because I was suffocating in silence.

I didn’t want to ask questions, and I didn’t want to feel alone in my room. Everything was twice as hard.

I went to my safe place, my only real way out. And they missed me. Their small, eager faces, their free hugs, and their innocent questions were a comfort for my hurting spirit. And I missed them.

It was a very good feeling, natural and pure.

I could smile as much as I wanted even though my heart was a different matter but I enjoyed every second of it.

Until Astor came by while I was there.

The sight of him, leaning against the doorframe, his usual serious face softened a little as he watched the children, made me stiffen

The friendly feeling I had with the kids disappeared. Everything felt awkward. Then he did something he had never done before.

He started playing with them. Not just watching, but really getting involved. He crouched down to their level, tossed a ball, and even tried to tell a joke that wasn’t funny, but the kids still laughed.

It was so unlike him, this playful, almost gentle Astor, that it made me feel very confused. He’d never done anything like this before. It felt… staged. Or worse, like he was trying to prove something. To me.

I wanted to stay away from pack jobs as much as I possibly could. The thought of stepping into any role, or being seen as more than someone who didn’t want to be there, made me want to run.

But everything was just out of order.

Calls for help went unanswered, small fights grew worse, and things like food and supplies were not used well. The pack was struggling, and it bothered me.

I didn’t owe these people any loyalty, but somehow I felt obliged to help.

I had a natural urge to fix things and it was a strong feeling I couldn’t fight. So I stepped in.

I started organizing things, settling arguments, and giving out tasks. And when I reached a very hard problem, I did what felt natural, what I would have done usually.

I thought I was helping, but somehow I was just giving him a different idea because later that evening, under the faint light of the two moons, he announced it. Standing before the entire pack, his voice was strong and clear, leaving no doubt.

He said strongly, “There will be a Luna ceremony. For Faith.”

The words felt like a punch, knocking the breath out of me. A Luna ceremony. For me. It wasn’t a question, not an offer. It was a command, a strong chain tying me to this place, to him.

My face must have been pale. My shock was clear to see. The pack, however, all gasped at once. Then they started to whisper, and soon these whispers turned into wonder.

There was a shift in their respect, yes. I know they didn’t like me, but they obviously thought that he liked me.

He has never stood up for me in front of them. Instead, he always made them feel validated in mistreating me, so this was different from the norm.

I was honestly just as confused as they were because the man who used to look at me like I was some sort of disease seemed to want me around.

Astor kept me inside the pack’s land after that and somehow it made him even more paranoid than he was.

No more attempts to run, no more.

Searches for my father beyond these invisible walls.

But he did allow me some freedom. Freedom to walk the lands that would soon belong to me, freedom to talk with the people who now showed me respect, freedom to take on the jobs I had, maybe without meaning to. Freedom, in short, to be the Alpha’s mate, the future Luna.

But it wasn’t freedom. It was a different kind of prison. And I still needed to find my father. This new reality, this future I couldn’t avoid, suddenly felt like a trap. I don’t know what makes him think that it will make me forget, especially that he slept with my sister.

I already had my reasons for wanting to go as far from him as possible, but that is not something I can look away from because it’s all I see before I sleep at night.

The thought of the two of them together is starting to be a nightmare I cannot run away from, even though Alice is not here anymore.

I don’t understand why Astor even chased her away because she just disappeared out of thin air, and I heard whispers that she left the day I came back.

But that doesn’t change anything.