And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie) novel Chapter 345

There was nothing but sincerity in his gaze, and as much as I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and never put his hands on me again, part of me couldn't help but want to give him that chance to explain and fix things.

"How do you expect to fix what has already happened, Silas? What else is there that we need to discuss? You made it very clear the guys here, and probably a lot of the girls, are assuming I'm somebody I'm not."

I had never claimed to be this badass girl people thought I was. I was 18 years old, trying to figure out my life and where I wanted to go.

Did I have a rebellious nature? Absolutely.

But that didn't mean I was ready to stand toe to toe with the world as if I had my shit together. What I wanted was to be able to come here and heal from everything that had happened, including losing Melissa, the woman I had loved all through high school.

I had pushed the thoughts of losing her to the back of my mind, not trying to dwell on it what had happened because it was a situation I couldn't fix. However, this place turned out not to be the solace I was looking for, and instead, had become just as much a nightmare as where I had lived before.

I took a moment to think about what I had asked him, and he opened and closed his mouth as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure. "Will you please just have dinner with me? I can explain everything then."

I'd be a fool to agree to have dinner with him, but I was curious to know exactly what it was he was going to do to fix things. Taking him up on this offer was not going to make anything better between Lucas and me. But honestly, after the way Lucas had treated me today, regardless of what he assumed to be true… I had no reason to say no.

Nodding my head slowly, I shrugged my shoulders, gesturing with my hand that yes, I would. A bright white smile crept across Silas's face at my acknowledgment to go to dinner with him. He was pleased, and honestly, I wasn't surprised he was.

He was a very strange man in a way. There was something dark and mysterious about him that pulled me in, but I couldn't help but feel he didn't just look at me like a person but as a prized possession to own, which was a little unsettling.

He hadn't actually done anything to make me feel that way. It was simply the gaze he gave me was as if I was a piece of gold littered with jewels he wanted to have.

Our relationship was strained, and it became more strained the day I turned eighteen.

She may have fought for me to try to get me and Pollux to stay, not wanting to have us leave, but honestly, I believed a part of her was relieved I was going because, for once, she could try to live normally without worrying who I was going to hurt if I got upset.

The moment I stepped into my room and closed the door, tears began to flow down my face. Everywhere I went, everything I did, I caused problems. I had to figure out how to fix myself, and perhaps it was time I changed slightly who I was.

Instead of being the girl who stood out among the masses, perhaps it was time I tried to blend in. At least then, if I blended in, I wouldn't stick out with everybody wanting to have a piece of me or something to say about me.

Because the girl I was, was not a girl she would want to be proud of.