Chapter 194: A Unhappy Lake
Lake’s POV
Carm
I did not speak to my dad at breakfast because I was still mad at him and I wanted him to be aware of
that.
This was a decision I had made before I even got out of bed. I lay there in the dark of my room-the dark that wasn’t fully dark because my nightlight was still on, the star one that my Aunt Lily had gotten me for my birthday, the one that put little dots on the ceiling-and I looked at the ceiling and thought about everything my dad had told me the night before.
Cameron.
Not Dante. Cameron.
I pulled my blanket up to my chin and stared at the ceiling stars and thought that this was one of the most unfair things that had ever happened in my life, and I had a list of unfair things, so I knew what I was comparing it to.
My dad came to my door at seven-fifteen the way he always did. He knocked twice-he always knocked twice, not once, not three times, two-and said: “Lake. Time to get up.”
I did not answer.
He opened the door anyway. “Lake.”
I looked at the ceiling.
“I know you’re awake. Your eyes are open, you can’t pretend you are not hearing me.”
“I’m thinking,” I said.
“You can think and get up at the same time.”
I did not move.
୮
My dad sighed the quiet sigh-not the loud one, which meant he was actually frustrated, but the quiet one, which meant he was having a feeling he wasn’t going to explain yet. He came in and sat on the edge of my bed and for a minute neither of us said anything.
“You’re still upset,” he said.
“I’m thinking,” I said again.
“Lake.”
“Dad.”
He was quiet for a moment. My dad was very good at being quiet. He could wait longer than almost anyone I knew, except maybe Drew, and Drew was my age so that was different.
13
A UnhappyLake-
+know it’s not what you expected,” he said..
“I expected Dante,” I said.
“I know.”
“Dante is good.”
“He is.”
Claim
“Dante knows what I like. He knows I like the nature programs and the birds and he always has snacks and he doesn’t wear suits.” I turned my head to look at my dad. He was wearing his work clothes already, which meant he had to take me to school before he went to work. He looked tired. He always looked a little tired, my dad, but not the bad kind of tired-the kind where he’d been doing a lot and was okay about it. “Cameron wears suits every day.”
“Lots of people wear suits.”
“Scary people.”
My dad made a face that was not quite a smile and not quite not a smile. “Cameron isn’t scary.”
“He is,” I said. “I have seen him. I have seen him when he comes to the office to talk to you. Everyone gets very quiet when he comes. That is what scary people do. Normal people don’t make everyone quiet.”
“He’s their boss. That’s different.”
“Why is it different?”
My dad didn’t answer right away. This meant he was thinking about how to explain something. When my dad did that, I waited. He always came up with something.
“Do you remember,” he said, “when you started at your school? At the beginning. And you said the teachers made everyone quiet too?”
“That’s teachers.”
“But you weren’t scared of them after a while.”
“That’s because Miss Adenike has a gecko,” I said. “And Mr. Osei gives everyone a pencil on their birthday.”
“So you learned more about them.”
“I already know about Cameron,” I said. “He took your job.”
My dad looked at me for a long time. Not a bad look. The patient look, the one that meant he was deciding something. Then he said: “I know you think that. I want to talk to you more about it, but not right now because you need to get ready for school. Can we talk tonight?”
“I already know what I think,” I said.
“You might know more things tonight.”
“Or I might still know the same things.”
Claim
CA Unhappy Late..
“That’s possible,” my dad said. “But we’ll still talk about it.” He stood up. “Get dressed. Lily made akara.”
+ got up. I like akara. This did not mean I had forgiven anyone.
My Aunt Lily was in the kitchen when I came out, and she looked at me the way she sometimes looked at me when she already knew something had happened-not asking, just making a face that said *I am available if you want to talk.* I did not want to talk to Aunt Lily about it yet. Aunt Lily would say something like *give him a chance* and *your dad knows what he’s doing* and those were the kinds of things adults said when they wanted you to stop having feelings.
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