Chapter 45: The Guilty Conscience
Sedona’s POV
“And I said to him that I felt the same way, that he wasn’t the only one drowning in this kind of feelings” Rachel said softly.
“I’d been waiting for permission, I think. Waiting for some sign that it was okay to move forward, to let myself be happy even though you were gone. The memorial, as awful as it was, gave me that permission. It helped me accept that you might never come back, and that I was allowed to build a life anyway.”
“We were very careful about it at first,” Enzo added. “We didn’t want anyone to think we’d been having an affair during your engagement, or that we were being disrespectful to your memory. We waited three months before we told anyone we were seeing each other, as in more than just friends, to see what their reactions would be. Another six months before we made it public.”
“Your family was… cautiously supportive, like they didn’t expect it, but they didn’t want to cause a problem, I don’t know, it was tense for the first few months.”
Rachel said. “Your mother especially. I think she saw it as evidence that something good could come from the tragedy of losing you and she didn’t want what happened to us to happen to us. Your father was more reserved about it, he wasn’t happy at first, but eventually he came around. Cameron was the hardest to convince. He refused to listen to anything we had to say, it was a bad time for us, because we were on the verge of losing him as a friend. And basically accused us of being the reason you had disappeared, that maybe you found out about us and left, irrational I know but he was hurting. But later on, after a few months, he dropped a text saying he wanted to meet”
That didn’t surprise me. Cameron had always been protective, had always had clear ideas about loyalty and appropriateness. And he was someone who enforced it all the time, even in uncomfortable situations.
“What did he say?”
“He asked me to coffee,” Enzo said, “about two months after Rachel and I went public with our relationship I didn’t want to go, but Rachel told me to, that Cameron was like an older brother to her as well, so I left to see my ex fiancée older brother, I was expecting worse, probably a beat up since he wasn’t held back by the parents, but to my surprise, he was very polite. We met at that place on Fourth Avenue that your family likes, and he ordered an espresso and then looked me directly in the eye and said, ‘If you hurt her the way my sister was hurt by whatever she ran from, I will destroy your family’s business holdings so thoroughly that your grandchildren will feel the economic impact. I think that was his way of apologising for losing his cool in the first place.”
Despite everything, I almost smiled. “That sounds like Cameron.”
“I told him I had no intention of hurting Rachel, that I loved her and intended to spend the rest of my life proving it.” Enzo reached over and took Rachel’s hand. “And then I asked his permission to marry her, because even though you weren’t there, you were still her best friend and your family’s opinion still mattered to her.”
1/2
Guilty Conserefree
+25 Points
He said yes, Rachel said, looking at their joined hands. “But he also said something that I think about a ut. He said, ‘If Sedona ever comes back, she’s going to have a lot to process. Her best friend married to the man she was supposed to marry. I hope you’re both prepared for that conversation.”
‘We got married a year later,” Enzo continued speaking. ” It was a small ceremony, just family and close friends. We’d talked about whether to do something bigger, more public, but it felt wrong somehow. Like we were celebrating on your grave, even though we didn’t actually know if you were dead. And we didn’t want the negative reports from people who knew about Enzo’s failed marriage coming to cause a scene on that day.”
‘I kept thinking you’d show up,” Rachel said quietly. “Right up until the moment I walked down the aisle. I kept thinking you’d appear in the back of the room, and we’d have to stop everything and you’d explain where you’d been and why you left and we’d figure out how to move forward from there. Or that you would show up at then the priest was asking for objections then you would show up and stop the wedding, demanding explanations. But you didn’t come.”
‘I didn’t know,” I said, my voice rougher than I intended as I cleared my throat and continued speaking.
‘I didn’t know any of this was happening. I was in Chicago, married to someone else, having a baby, building a completely different life. I never meant to put you through this. I am sorry that you went through a lot of guilt while I didn’t even know this was something that might happen between you two. I’m sorry for not checking in and just living life on a blank slate.”
‘We know that, and it’s not your fault, it’s just fate that decided it that way.” Rachel said firmly. “Sedona, I need you to understand something. Yes, it was hard. Yes, there were moments when I was so angry at you I could barely breathe. But I also understand why you ran, I’ve spent five years thinking about it, and I understand. Your family’s expectations were crushing. The arranged marriage was wrong. You should never have been put in that position in the first place.”
‘Still-”
“No. Listen to me.” She leaned forward, her expression intense as she held eye contact with me before continuing.
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