(BL) Hunting The Field Guide novel Chapter 302

Chapter 302: Just listen

"-ellen?" Someone was calling his name, and he didn’t realise who it was until they touched his shoulder. Kellen jerked, flinching at the touch. Rhys, who had come around to check on him, stared down at him in concern. "Hey, are you okay? You look really pale." Taylor, who had been beside him, trying to help Kellen, also had a concerned look on her face.

Kellen didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even think he could actually talk. His throat had closed up, and he didn’t feel like himself. He’d been using the counter to lean against for balance, but he felt that if he moved away slightly he would fall.

Kellen opened his mouth, trying to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. Rhys’ hand on his shoulder tightened, and he frowned down at the other man. He glanced over at Taylor, before sliding his gaze towards Kellen’s Dad.

"Taylor, you can handle forming the cookies now, can’t you?" Rhys asked and Taylor nodded, concern clouding her expression. Kellen wanted to tell everyone that he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come out. He could barely breathe in all honesty, and sucking air into his lungs was a very difficult task.

Rhys practically picked up Kellen, moving him towards the sink and with practised, measured movements, began to wash Kellen’s hands for him. Kellen wanted to protest, but again, he couldn’t speak, nor move. Rhys’ expression was dark, but still thoughtful as he went through the motions, before drying his hands with a towel handed to him by Casper.

"Bring him over." Gwen called from the couch, patting a spot in between her and Brent. Esper Blake had moved off of the couch, sitting on a stool just behind the couch. Charlie was squeezing himself tightly against the edge of the couch, trying not to be in the way, while Hill remained near the counter with Kellen’s Mom. It was clear that that was only because Kellen’s Dad still needed assistance. Otherwise, the Esper wouldn’t have left her Guide son alone.

Rhys carried Kellen over to the couch before gently turning him around and settling him in between the two. Rhys didn’t move, pushing back the coffee table so that he could get on his knees before Kellen. Kellen could feel his body tense, his muscles contracting painfully as he went into high alert.

They knew something was wrong. It was clear that some of them had anticipated this behaviour, while Kellen felt like he was drowning. This felt like...too much. Too much feeling, too much reaction. He could barely control his own body, and he couldn’t talk. His tongue felt too big for his mouth, his lips felt swollen, and his throat was closed up. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Kellen, sweetheart, you’re going to be okay, alright?" Rhys told him, squeezing his knees that he held onto. Kellen had no idea why he was saying that. Kellen knew he was okay. Taylor was looking after him. Of course he was going to be okay.

Brent gave Kellen’s arm a squeeze, Gwen mimicking the same motion on his other side.

"We’re here, alright? So it’s okay to not be okay. You’re hurt, we’re here for you." Brent said and Kellen only felt confused. He was fine. He had to be fine. If he wasn’t fine, everyone else was going to worry. He didn’t need them to be there for him, even though he appreciated it. But he could manage on his own.

If things got really bad he could...lean on Rhys now, right? So he didn’t need everyone else to worry. He was going to be fine.

"Kellen, seriously, it’s okay. Do you need to cry? That had to be traumatic. No one really knew that there was a traitor in the D.E.C. I didn’t know about it for sure. And then that person tried to kill you. Fuck, I can’t even be mad at you because you reacted so quickly to save your own life. But that must have been scary." Gwen’s expression only held concern for her big brother, and Brent sighed.

"You never really faced anything on the front lines either. You kind of just bottled everything up. I know that most people used sex to get over the things that they saw or had to do in gates, but you never did. You just worked out, but you can’t even do that right now." Brent’s tone was careful, worried. Kellen had no idea why he was bringing this up. He was fine.

Rhys’ grip tightened on Kellen’s knees and Kellen glanced towards him.

"Do you want a hug? What can I do to help you through this, Kellen?" Kellen felt like he was running a race while staying completely still. He could hear how harsh his breaths sounded, but he couldn’t do anything about it. Raspy, painful, he really didn’t like the way his body was behaving.

Trying to move, he focused his energy on his arm, trying to get it to move, and it felt like moving a broken arm where the muscles and connective tissues wouldn’t listen to him. He managed to do so after great effort, slamming his hand down on top of Rhys’.

He still couldn’t talk though. Only a squeak left his lips and Kellen’s Mom let out an exhale so loud Kellen wanted to flinch.

"Rhys, is it alright if Kellen and I have a moment to ourselves?" Kellen’s Mom spoke up from the doorway and Rhys sighed. _{freёwebnovel.com}

Kellen felt his eyes water, and they fell silently. He was still unable to speak, and it was so frustrating as another squeak left his throat. He just wanted to be able to speak, say his peace. He hadn’t wanted his Mom to feel this way. He just wanted to be...helpful. He only knew how to do that in a few ways, and one of them was taking on what had worried them.

He hadn’t minded that he would have a target painted on his back. He was strong. He could handle it. His Dad was strong, but he wasn’t strong in the same way as Kellen. He couldn’t move as fast as him, and Kellen would rather they attempt to kill him first then his Dad again. Kellen could fight back. He had guns, and he had his training.

His Mom watched him struggle, her expression breaking as she watched him.

"No, Kellen. I mean it. I am grateful, truly, that you care so deeply for us, but if you ever, ever do this again, I’m taking you over my lap and spanking you, and then putting you in one of those S Class chambers so that you are in the best time out chamber that I know of. I swear to god, if I had known that was what you were planning to do at the press conference, I would have protested more." She ran a hand over her face. "Your Dad knocked some sense into me. I fear my emotions were twisted by my own powers, and I put too much pressure on you. Gwen, being an Esper, knew better, but you’re my little Guide boy. I know you just want to heal and take away all of my worries, Kellen. My sweet, sweet boy. I love you so much for being who you are, but you can’t do that at the cost of yourself, Kellen. You really, really can’t. It won’t make me happy, and you need to think about what it would do to Rhys if you weren’t around." A shiver ran down Kellen’s spine.

He didn’t want to think about it. He really, really didn’t. Rhys would never. He would never do that. But...if Kellen wasn’t here, how would he know? People targeted the Guides all the time because they were weaker, not as strong as the Espers they cared for. There was a reason Espers tried to lock up the ones they had imprinted with. But they weren’t imprinted.

The tears kept falling and she sighed, pulling him closer until his head was tucked into the crook of her neck.

"My baby boy. So much care and kindness in one body, but it’s going to break you, baby. You are allowed to be selfish, Kellen. You don’t need to protect us. I appreciate it, but we should be the ones protecting you. Your Father and I are not so weak, especially now that we know they are out there, that we are going to fall for their trap again. I don’t want you worrying about us to the point that you risk yourself like this again. Had I been in my right mind before, I would have fought you then too. I’d been too complacent, having your Father around all the time. I’ll be more vigilant now, baby. I love you and Gwen so completely and wholly that I would kill for you two. You wouldn’t like me to say that I would die for you two, so I won’t, but know that I would do anything for you two. Even yell at you for your foolish behaviour. I’ll help you hide a body if you need to, though I doubt that will ever be an issue with Rhys around." She rolled her eyes, sighing. "My son-in-law is too perfect." She muttered, pressing a kiss against Kellen’s forehead.

"H-He’s not." Kellen managed to get out and she laughed, her shoulder’s shaking.

’That’s what you’re able to say? To complain about your boyfriend? Gosh, how cute." She teased. "I love you Kellen, and I’m sorry that I put that weight on you. I’m taking it back now. Don’t worry about us like this anymore. You are going to worry yourself into an early grave, and I do not want to be a Mom who buries her kids before her, alright? Don’t make me into that." Her voice sounded a little wet and Kellen sniffed. Using most of his current strength, he moved his hand to rest on her knee, giving her comfort and she let out a wet laugh. "You damn Guide." She said with affection, and Kellen felt his lips turn up slightly.