(BL) Hunting The Field Guide novel Chapter 444

Chapter 444: Going into shock

Kellen was barely aware of anything around him. He felt like he had tunnel vision, and couldn’t even register that Rhys had his hand on his back, his shoulder, offering him comfort. Warmth. Kellen couldn’t feel it.

All he could feel was that cold, sick, festering feeling in his gut as it relished in being right. Kellen’s guts churned as he threw up again in the bucket. The sounds of his Dad wailing filling his ears. The repetitive warning from the sirens, and then the muffled voice of Lieutenant Parker, asking what hell was going on? Everything he heard felt like it was in a distance. Away from him.

Something he couldn’t touch, and thus, couldn’t touch him in return.

Kellen just stared at the contents of the bucket in front of him, his body slowly going numb. His fingers shook as he tried to tighten his grip on the can. He felt like his mind was going so unbearably slow, and so fast that it was making him ill from whiplash. He didn’t know what to do. Rhys wouldn’t lie to him, he knew that.

It was also clear that Rhys wasn’t happy with this outcome either, but what the hell could they do? Why hadn’t known, and Rhys couldn’t predict the futures of the people who were closest to him often, or at all. Kellen’s future had practically been blocked out for him.

They were lucky they had had Kellen’s warning. Lucky. It didn’t feel like luck as Kellen threw up again, his body heaving. It really didn’t feel like luck, but Kellen was trying his best. He didn’t want to blame Rhys. He didn’t want to blame himself. No one was at fault for this.

If anyone was at fault, it was the E.A.G. for forcing that damn group of monsters near them at this time.

Kellen’s stomach rolled as he remembered, suddenly, that he’d had bad feelings about so many people before they left. His eyes filled with tears. It couldn’t have just been Gwen. He’d had bad feelings about so many of his people. Holy shit. No.

Just as quickly as he’d tried to climb up, he spiraled back down into the depths of worry, loathing, and fear.

This couldn’t be happening. This was bad fucking dream. He had to wake up from this. This was...this was the worst fucking outcome that could possibly happen. Kellen’s stomach revolted again and he found himself coughing into the garbage can. He had apparently already thrown up everything that he could. His body only had acid left.

When Kellen finally came to from his heaving fit, he found that he wasn’t alone, but the people had changed.

Instead of Rhys, it was Casper who was at his side, patting his back in comforting circles.

"It’s okay. It’s okay." He whispered over and over and Kellen wasn’t sure if that was more for him, or for Kellen. Kellen could hear that Rhys was speaking with his Dad and a few others, but he couldn’t actually process what anyone was saying.

He was in shock. He knew what that was. That didn’t mean he could get himself out of it easily. His body lurched another time, but nothing came out. Casper made soft noises, trying to comfort him, but slowly Kellen was able to tell that Casper’s hands were shaking.

He wasn’t in a good state either. Kellen shouldn’t be like this. He needed to...he needed to pull himself together. Kellen was the partner of the Captain of this Guild. He needed to...to step up. He needed to be an example.

Like he always was. As a Woods, as a Field Guide, and now as a partner. He needed to get his shit together. This wasn’t about him and his feelings. Not alone, at least. But Kellen couldn’t pull himself up off of the floor.

Then his Mom arrived.

"What’s with the alarm?" She burst into the room, her face stern, her eyes purple as she took everything in. The funeral procession continued on the screen, Lieutenant Parker probably having been briefed about what was going on while Kellen’s Dad crying in Rhys’ arms. Kellen was heaving into a garbage can while Casper rubbed his back, and a group of Espers were in the room with Rhys as he barked orders to them, still comforting everyone around him. Charlie was sobbing quietly, mostly unattended as he sat at the table nearby.

Kellen turned, looking at his Mom. His face was pale, his blue eyes dim, before he just shook his head and turned back to his garbage bin.

"What the hell is going on?" She repeated, and Kellen tuned her out as he listened to Rhys tell his Mom what was going on. Kellen wasn’t even intentionally tuning her out, he just felt like his vision and his hearing was zeroing in. Like a slow circle of a camera focusing on only a small point.

"Kellen?" Rhys’ voice was soft, his hand landing on his shoulder. "Babe. Are you alright?" He sounded gentle. Compared to the blaring noise, the warning that everything was crumbling around him filled his ears, Rhys was delicate. Warm. Kellen sniffed. He couldn’t stop the tears. He didn’t even know what he should ask. What he could ask. What his body would let him get out before he just collapsed completely.

"How many?" Kellen finally asked, the words feeling awkward, harsh, and tight as they left his mouth. Kellen felt Rhys’ hand clench around his shoulder before relaxing.

"We...We haven’t finished the headcount yet." Rhys admitted and Kellen shuddered.

"Fuck." Kellen whispered and Casper’s hand paused on his back.

"Did you know?" He asked quietly, softly so that no one else could hear them. Kellen let out a cold laugh.

"Did it fucking help?" Kellen muttered and Rhys sighed.

"What can I do?" Charlie asked, his voice a wisp. It said a lot about his character that that was the first thing he asked. What he could do. Kellen swallowed thickly. He was grateful that Charlie was at his side right now, and so fucking terrified for the kid. This was one of the worst situations Kellen had ever dealt with, and he had been doing this a long time.

Charlie was a baby to this. Who knows what hell he’d gone through before he’d gotten here, but Kellen knew his life was only going to get more complicated from this point on. Kellen needed to put him somewhere where he was helpful, but safe.

Kellen let out a shuddering breath.

"I need you to keep an eye on my parents. Make sure they don’t do anything rash. You have my permission to tie them up if you’re worried." Kellen told him and Charlie let out a startled laugh.

"Tie them up? I can’t do that. Your Mom is stronger-"

"She’s in shock. I bet you could overpower her given the right timing." Kellen said. He might have sounded like he was joking, but he was being dead serious. Kellen turned to Rhys. "Give Charlie one of your higher ups, but also an Esper you can spare right now." Kellen ordered and Rhys nodded. He pulled out his phone.

This was actually a very serious concern, and honestly, others should be worrying about him as well.

Every fiber in his body was telling him to run. Go.

Go to the front lines. Be there. Get them out. Only you can do it. Only you are capable.

Kellen was fighting against that urge with everything in his being, but he wasn’t sure for how long he could do it. Why had he been shown it? Why had he had that feeling in his gut for this long?

Was it because only he could do this?

Kellen couldn’t shake that thought. Then, he turned his gaze to Rhys. What would Rhys think when he brought this up to him? Would he agree? Would he get upset? Kellen wasn’t sure of the answer, and he wasn’t even sure if he really wanted to know right now.

Shivering, Kellen turned to his next task.