I wake up before my alarm, not because I feel good. Because my body won’t let me sleep through the night anymore.
I peel my eyes open and for a second I don’t move, I stay still and wait, the way I’ve learned to do. I wait to see if the room spins. It doesn’t, but there’s a pressure behind my eyes that makes me wince.
I sit up slowly. My stomach feeling empty and tight at the same time. I press my palm to it and breathe until the nausea eases enough that I can stand upright.
I don’t want to stay in my room. If I stay in my room, I’ll start thinking too muc about the appointment waiting for me today.
So I shower, get dressed, pull my hair back, and head downstairs.
Margaret is already in the kitchen as always.
She glances up when she hears me and pauses like she’s unsure whether to tell me to go sit down or pretend she didn’t see me at all.
"Morning," I say.
"Morning, dear." Her voice is as cheerful as always.
I stand there for a second,m my hands at my sides. "Can I help?"
She opens her mouth to say no...I can tell by the way her shoulders lift.
"I’d really like to," I add before she can finish.
She studies me for a moment, then sighs. "Alright. You can help with the vegetables, Just the vegetables sweetie."
"Yes just the vegetables."
She slides a bowl toward me and I start washing the vegetables before proceeding to cut them. The water is cold and It helps clear my head a little. We don’t talk much while we work, It’s comfortable in a quiet way.
I don’t bring up the other day and She doesn’t either. I’m grateful for that.
When everything’s ready, I feel that familiar hollow twist in my stomach again. I carry the bowl to the table anyway.
Zane and Thomas come in a few minutes later.
"Morning," Thomas says easily.
"Morning," I reply.
Zane just gives a nod and sits.
I take my seat and force myself to eat. Not because I want to, but because I know Margaret is watching. I can feel her eyes on me every time I push food around instead of actually taking a bite.
Halfway through, I glance toward the doorway where Aaron stands.
"We’ll need to head out after breakfast," I say
Aaron straightens immediately. "Okay. Where to?"
"The hospital."
Zane’s fork stops mid way to his lips. "Why?"
I don’t look at him, I just keep eating. "Just Girlie stuff."
Thomas lets out a small laugh before he can stop himself. Zane shoots him a look.
Zane turns back to me. "You’re fine?."
I finally meet his eyes. "Yes I am."
It’s a lie. He probably senses it. But he doesn’t push, and I thank him for that.
Breakfast ends quietly. I kiss Margaret’s cheek before I leave the kitchen.


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