Chapter 136
Roman’s POV
“Oh… yes… harder… baby….
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My mother’s voice filters through the attic door, breathy and strained, each word pulled from somewhere deep in her throat.
I’m seven years old and small enough that the attic stairs feel step and endless under my feet.
“Give it
to
Fear shoots through 1
chest and spreads into
limbs. Someone is hurting her.
Father is
in London and he will not be back until tomorrow!
I have to help
I push open the attic door and the hinges creak.
The scene does not make sense at first, my young brain struggling to piece together what I am seeing.
Mother is pinned against the wall with her dress bunched up around her waist.
A man stands behind her with his pants down around his thighs and he is moving against her.
Their
eyes are closed and both of them are making noises that sound like pain.
I freeze in the doorway.
He is hurting her. He must be.
“Mom.” The word tears out of me and cracks in the middle. “Are you alright?”
I run across the dusty floor and grab the man’s arm, trying to pull him away with all the strength in my small body.
“Get off my mom.”
The man stumbles backward and curses, words I am not supposed to know.
Mother spins around and her face is flushed deep red. Her hair is messy and falling out of its pins and her eyes are wide with shock.
“Roman, baby,”
She yanks her dress down but I have already seen everything. Her underwear is around one ankle and tangled.
The man is fumbling with his trousers and buckling them with shaking hands that cannot seem to work properly.
Mother does not look hurt.
She looks flushed and satisfied and her lips are swollen, and I know without understanding that she was enjoying whatever was happening.
My stomach twists and churns.
I turn and run for the door.
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understand what I am sing but I know deep in my bones that it is wrong.
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17:03 Fri, Mar 6 AMO
Chapter 136
“Roman, Wait.”
Her footsteps pound behind me and shake the floorboards.
“Baby, stop.”
I make it to the hallway and down the stairs, my legs pumping faster than they ever have in my entire life.
“Roman, please.”
She catches me at the bottom and her hand clamps around my arm hard enough to bruise.
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“Let me explain.”
“You
were… he
was.”
ster
me.”
She
“Was he hurting you?”
drops to her knees and grabs both my arms, er fingers digging into my skin. “What
you
saw…”
“No.”
er grip
“BU
you
“Rom
“I
〃
”
until it burns. “He was not.”
grows mean. “You did not see what you think you saw.”
“No.”
es me once and my teeth rattle. “You imagined it.”
“I did akes
“Yes, you did.” Her nails dig into my skin and I feel them cutting through my shirt. “You were playing in your room. You fell asleep. You had a bad dream. That is all this is.”
“But”
“Say it.”
My throat closes up and will not let any words through.
“Say it, Roman.”
“I… I imagined it,”
“Good boy.” She pulls me against her chest too tight and too hard Her perfume fills my nose and makes me want to gag. “We do not tell Father about our dreams, do we? He is so busy and so stressed. We do not want to worry him with silly nightmares.”
I nod against her shoulder because I do not know what else to do and my body feels like it is not mine anymore.
“He would not understand and he would think you were lying. He would think you were making up stories to get attention.”
Her hand strokes my hair in that way she does when guests are watching. “You do not want him to think you are a liar, do you?”
“No.”
“Then what happened?”
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O
17:03
Fri, Mar 6 AMD
Chapter 136
“Nothing.”
“What did you see?”
“Nothing.”
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She pulls back and cups my face between her hands, forcing me to look at her. “Say it properly. Mom loves Dad. She would never lie to him.”
The words stick in
my throat.
“Say it, Roman.”
“Mom loves Dad.” My
“That is right.” She pulls
Comes out small and broken. “She would never lie to him.”
love you, Roman. Ilo me close again and presses my head against her shoulder, her hand rubbing circles on my chest. “I
She rocks
“Say it back.”
much.”
back and forth like I am a baby.
“No.” Her hand stops moving. “Say Mom loves you and Dad very much. She would never hurt you both.”
The
eping arc
“Say it.”
are running down my face now and soaking into her dress.
“Mom loves
me
band Dad very much.” Each word feels like swallowing glass. “She would never hurt us.”
“That is my good boy.” She kisses the top of my head and holds me tighter. “You are such a brave boy. This is what family does. We protect and keep each other’s secrets safe. I have got you.”
I want pull away but her arms are iron bands around me and cannot breathe properly.
Hands are
my shoulders and shaking and tugging at me.
“Roman.”
Another shake and this one is harder.
“Roman, wake up.”
My eyes snap open.
The room is dark except for the moonlight that filters through the drapes.
Anna’s face hovers above mine and her eyes are wide and worrie, her hair falling around us.
I am breathing too hard and my chest heaves like I have been ruining for miles.
“You were thrashing,” she says softly and her voice shakes. “I had o wake you.”
Remnants of the dream clings to me, my mother’s voice, her hard, the attic, the way she made me repeat those words again and again until I did not trust my own memory anymore and started wondering if I had imagined the whole thing.
Anna reaches out and touches my face and her palm is cool against my overheated skin.
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