Craving My Ruthless Ceo novel Chapter 146

Chapter 146

Roman’s POV

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My computer screen was lit, the numbers glowing in front of me. I was supposed to be focused on approving the final deadline for the Beaumont campaign.

Instead, I found myself staring at nothing, my mind replaying the weekend on an endless loop.

I’d visited Elena and Lily several times before, but they were brief stops. Awkward hellos. The kind of uncle who showed up with expensive gifts and left before the diaper changes.

But this, taking care of her for an entire day without Elena there as a buffer, had been different. It had felt kind of good.

Better than good, actually. There had been this warmth spreading through my chest every time Lily smiled at me. Every time she reached for me with those tiny hands. When she’d fallen asleep against my shoulder, I had felt something shift.

And God, Anna Winters.

The way her eyes had lit up when she watched me feed Lily. The pride in her expression when she told Elena I was good at this, that I was a natural. She actually believed it.

For one stupid, dangerous moment, I had let myself imagine it.

Me. Anna. A child with her eyes and my stubborn streak.

A family.

The image had been so vivid it physically hurt. Anna, round with my baby, laughing at something I’d said. A little girl or boy with Anna’s wild curls, running through the penthouse. Sunday mornings spent in bed, all three of us tangled together.

It had been sweet, Adorable, even.

And then the guilt crashed in.

Because I wasn’t sure I wanted that life. Marriage, children. The white picket fence fantasy that normal people chased. I’d spent years convincing myself it wasn’t for me, that I was better off alone, that relationships were traps and family was a weakness.

My mother had made sure I learned that lesson early,

But Anna wanted a husband, kids, the happily ever after. And after watching her with Lily, the patience, the tenderness, the way she’d handled every crisis without flinching, it was obvious she’d make an incredible mother.

She deserved a man who wanted that too. Someone uncomplicated, who wouldn’t drag her into the mess that was my life.

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Chapter 146

Not an asshole like me.

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Maybe it was the trauma. Years of watching my mother manipulate and destroy every relationship she touched. Years of believing love was just another word for control. Years of convincing myself I was better off not feeling anything at all.

I didn’t think I had it in me to be the man Anna needed. A father. A husband. Someone stable and reliable and good.

Let her go, the rational part of my brain said. Let her find someone better.

But I couldn’t.

AL

Even knowing I’d never give her what she wanted, even knowing I was being selfish, I couldn’t do it. The thought of Anna with someone else, building that life with a man who wasn’t me, turned my stomach.

I dropped my head into my hands.

What the hell was wrong with me?

And then there was the way she’d denied being in a relationship with me to my own sister. The quickness and certainty, as though the idea of being with me was absurd.

Embarrassing, even. It shouldn’t have hurt. We weren’t in a relationship. I’d been the one to make that clear when I’d asked her to be my mistress instead of my girlfriend. But it did hurt, more than I wanted to admit.

A soft knock broke through my thoughts.

I looked up to find Anna standing in the doorway, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and her iPad in the other.

“Good morning,” she greeted, her tone professional despite the weekend we’d had. “Your meeting with Mason Beaumont is in two hours.”

She walked to my desk and set the coffee down without looking at me. Not even a glance. Then she stepped back, her attention returning to the iPad.

“I’ve prepared the presentation files and confirmed the conference room,” she continued, her gaze locked on the screen. “His assistant requested the updated financial projections, which I’ve compiled.”

She was rattling off information like a recording. Business as usual, as if we hadn’t just spent the weekend with her sleeping in my bed.

I leaned back in my chair, studying her. She still hadn’t looked at me. Not once.

“Also, the reports from the Singapore office came in overnight,” she said in that same flat tone. “I’ve flagged the items requiring your immediate attention.”

“Anna.”

Her fingers paused over the tablet, but she didn’t look up. “And the Anderson acquisition needs your signature

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Chapter 146

by the end of the day, and…”

“Anna, look at me.”

“I’m just going over your schedule, Mr. Blackwood.”

Mr. Blackwood.

“What’s wrong with you?”

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She frowned, but she kept her eyes down. “Nothing is wrong. I’m simply reviewing your appointments for the day.”

“You won’t even look at me.”

“I’m looking at your schedule.”

“Look at me.”

Finally, her eyes lifted to meet mine, and the intentional blankness in them was worse than anger would have

been.

“Was there something else you needed, Mr. Blackwood?”

The formality was triggering.

I stood slowly, rounding the desk. “Drop the act, Anna.”

“I’m not acting. I’m doing my job.” She tilted her head. “Your coffee is already on your desk. I’ll bring in the updated Beaumont files and…”

“Bring me the coffee.”

She blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“The coffee. You said it’s on my desk. Bring it to me.”

“It’s right there. You can…”

“I’m not asking, Anna. I’m telling you. Bring me the coffee.”

Her eyes flashed with anger, and for a moment I thought she might refuse, might throw the tablet at my head and storm out.

Instead, she walked to my desk, set her tablet down, and picked up the coffee cup.

Then she crossed the space between us and held it out.

But she was too tense, too angry, her hand shaking slightly with whatever she was holding back. As I reached for the cup, her fingers slipped.

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Chapter 146

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Hot coffee splashed across my shirt and down my torso, soaking through the fabric instantly. The scalding liquid hit my groin and my thighs, burning through my dress pants.

“Shit!” I jerked back, but the damage was done. Pain and heat flooded through me from the burn.

“Oh my God.” Anna’s composure shattered completely, her eyes going wide with horror. “Oh my God, Roman, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

She dropped to her knees instinctively, her hands reaching for my thighs, trying to brush away the hot liquid soaking through my pants. Her fingers pressed against my groin, dabbing frantically.

The combination of pain and arousal hit me like a freight train.

“Anna, stop.” I caught her wrists, pulling her hands away before this got out of control, before she felt exactly how my body was responding despite, or maybe because of, the burning pain. “Just stop.”

She looked up at me from her knees, her face flushed, her eyes filled with guilt and panic.

“I’m so sorry. Let me help. We need to…”

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