Crossing lines (Noah and Aiden) novel Chapter 188

Chapter 188

The space between us measured exactly six feet. He sat one row ahead, across the aisle from me. Close enough that his laughter reached me clearly when he spoke to her, yet distant enough that it felt like a chasm—like I might as well have been miles away. Lexie occupied the aisle seat like a sentinel, her radiant smile a bright, unyielding barrier. She was perfectly positioned where I would have to stretch past her to reach him. She knew it. I knew it. And, God help me, the truth was I desperately wanted to touch him. Just once more, to feel the warmth of his skin beneath my fingertips.

It was pathetic. That’s what I’d become—thirty-five years old and pining like a lovesick teenager over a boy so much younger than me. His birthday was coming up soon, and yet, in my mind, he was still just a kid. The thought twisted my stomach into knots. How would he celebrate? Almost certainly with her. My neck craned against the seatback, straining for a better view, but all I could catch was the crown of his head. His hair was a darker shade of blonde now, cut shorter than before. That change felt like confirmation that we were truly over. He used to keep it longer on top—for me. For my hands threading through his hair, for the way I loved to grip it when I kissed him.

“Another bourbon, sir?” The flight attendant’s voice pulled me back from that memory before it could drag me into darker places—places no one else on this plane should ever suspect. She leaned toward me with a polite smile, pouring a small bottle of Eagle Rare whiskey over ice. The young steward assisting her had a perfectly polished, almost too-perfect face, a smile that never seemed to fade. Unsettlingly, he reminded me of Micah—the only other man I had ever truly cared for.

Lately, Micah had been creeping into my thoughts more than I expected. I’d stumbled across a photo of him online—Obey.net, not an active profile, just a candid snapshot from some major BDSM event in Dallas. He was with another Dom, looking relaxed, even happy. The sight startled me because, for the first time, I didn’t feel bitterness toward him. For so long, I’d been angry that he’d left me for the city, for a bigger stage, for someone else’s leash. But now, seeing him smile alongside another man, all I felt was relief. Maybe, I told myself, whatever I thought I’d felt for him wasn’t love after all.

I knew that now because I did love someone else. Because now I understood what love truly felt like.

I knew it by the hollow ache that gnawed at my chest every time Lexie leaned in to whisper in Noah’s ear, every time her lipstick left a smudge on his cheek. I had been furious when Micah walked away, but I had never experienced this kind of pain. And the way my heart swelled, ballooning against my ribs whenever Noah stepped onto the field, or entered a room where I could breathe the same air—God, that sensation had never happened with anyone else.

The attendant handed me my drink and moved down the aisle. For the first time in days, the only thing between us was air. That’s when Noah’s eyes found mine. Direct and searching, his gaze flicked to the glass in my hand, then back to my face. Concern flickered in his eyes. He was worried I was drinking again. He didn’t know I’d been keeping myself clean, save for the occasional toast with the staff. And honestly, he didn’t need to know.

I stood frozen, staring at his retreating form, my heart pounding wildly. My brows knit together in confusion.

That’s when I noticed her—Lexie. Sitting there with a sly, knowing smile, her eyes sharp and calculating as she watched me watching him.

I yanked the curtain closed between us, shutting out her smugness, shutting out everything but the lingering echo of his lips against my skin.