Crossing lines (Noah and Aiden) novel Chapter 59

Chapter 59

By the time I finally stepped out of the locker room, the sun was already slipping beneath the horizon, casting long shadows that matched the sinking feeling deep in my stomach. For the first time since I’d gotten the keys, I wasn’t headed straight to Aiden’s place when I should have been. That realization hit me hard, twisting inside me like a cold knot.

As I made my way toward his apartment, a small, stubborn part of me wished I could confide in Keon. I wanted to spill everything—the chaos in my family, the constant ache in my chest from worrying about Emily’s safety, and the confusing, unbreakable pull that dragged me into evenings filled with chores, kneeling at someone’s feet, and being denied in ways I couldn’t fully explain, all under the control of our coach.

But sharing that truth? It felt like a risk too big to take. I was afraid I’d lose one of the few friends I had left if I ever let him see how tangled and broken my life really was.

Even now, despite the fear of being late, the tightness that made my skin feel like it was shrinking, and the overwhelming stress about what awaited me at home, I still longed for what awaited me at Aiden’s.

Not the punishments. Not the rules. Not the control.

It was the peace.

The strange sense of safety that settled over me whenever we were in the same room—even when he was ordering me around, even when he was holding back everything I wanted.

It didn’t make sense to anyone else. Maybe not even to me. But it was real. And it was mine.

When I finally pulled up outside Aiden’s place, the knot in my stomach had grown threefold. I braced myself for that familiar look—the sharp, calculating stare that made it feel like he’d already judged me before I’d even said a word.

But when I stepped inside, he said nothing.

The gin and tonic sat waiting on the side table. The soft strains of slow, low jazz played quietly in the background, which meant he’d already poured the drink and put on the music himself—proof I was late enough for him to take care of both.

I kicked off my shoes, peeled off my clothes, and knelt down like I always did, waiting for him to close the distance between us. Instead, his voice came from across the room.

“Here.”

I looked up to see him seated in his chair, one leg casually crossed over the other, his gaze steady and unreadable. He motioned to the spot right in front of him.

I crawled across the floor on my knees and settled there, eyes falling to the ground.

The silence stretched again. He studied me like he was trying to see beneath the surface, but whatever answer he was searching for remained out of reach.

When he spoke again, his tone softened but carried an unmistakable weight that left no doubt about who was in control. “Tell me, Noah… What do you think I should do now?”

I looked up, startled by the question. “Sir?”

“You were distracted on the field, avoided me after practice, and showed up late. I could make the decision for you.” His gaze locked on mine, unwavering. “Or… you could tell me what you need from your Master tonight.”

Of all the things I could have asked for—comfort, forgiveness, release—none of them felt right. None of them felt like what I truly needed.

The truth was, I didn’t think I deserved comfort. Or relief. Or even the privilege of being here at all—craving connection, playing these complicated games—while my sister suffered in my place.

The guilt weighed heavy in my chest. The shame was even worse. And there was only one way I could imagine burning it off, only one path to the kind of redemption I wanted.

I met his eyes, steady and certain. “I need you to punish me, Sir.”