Ditched Cheating Alpha, I Led My Daughter to Life's Peak novel Chapter 127

"I didn't have any choice." My voice raises. "I've been chased through the forest by killer wolves, glared at around every corner by creepy townspeople, and left to fear for my life both from external enemies and internal ones too. This is crazy." I breath for what feels like the first time in awhile. You don't know how good it feels to just admit that. To finally say how I've been feeling since this whole thing started. I mean, I'm literally scared shitless and I'm tired of pretending like this is any kind of normal. It's not.

Carson's the first to react. "I thought Onai kept you safe?"

I sigh. He's not getting it. "It's the fact that he had to keep me safe that's the problem." I look at him. "My life is in danger all the time, and I know you guys can't help it. And I know you're doing the best you can." I look at Aiden from the corner of my eyes. "I know... you can't make promises about this sort of thing."

Aiden still doesn't say anything.

"I'll make you promises right now," Carson says, leaning closer in his seat to me.

I shake my head. "I don't want you to. I'm just... I'm just scared, and this pack hasn't exactly been the most welcoming." It feels horrible walking through the halls of this school. It feels like that moment in the Lion King when Kovu was being exiled, only there's no catchy song to accompany it. No promise of a happy ending or a worthwhile resolution.

I'm just hated. And it doesn't stop no matter how nice I try to be. Some people have changed their minds, but not enough.

"We can talk to the pack," Axel says. "We can-"

"-force them to respect me?" I shake my head. "If you could do that, people wouldn't be treating Onai the way they do."

"You want us... to draw straws?" Aiden asks incredulously, the same way he questioned my hippo mix up earlier.

I take a deep breath and let it out forcefully. "It wasn't a suggestion, Aiden. It was just an example of how you guys could've tried to settle this on your own. And if that didn't work, like it clearly didn't, it still wouldn't be normal for me to resort to seriously dating multiple guys at the same time. Especially not brothers, unless I was being unfaithful, which I never am." I risk a glance at all of them. "Still, as cheater-y as this sounds... I couldn't imagine picking any single one of you."

My eyes go straight to Carson. I put my hands up in defense. "Don't get me wrong. It's not that any one of you isn't enough. It's just, the thought of hurting the others by picking one, and then of losing the other two..." I feel about as faithful as a potato. I rub my forehead. "That's why I've been asking myself these questions, just trying to make up my mind about what I'm going to do before I gave you guys any definite answers. Should I pick one of you and just be friends with the others? Should I just be friends with all of you? Or..."

I adjust the covers so I can pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Forget professional. I feel too exposed. It's really hard to be honest about this. I don't want to hurt them. Gosh. "Should I try to pursue a romantic relationship with all of you? Would that even be possible? And if it was, what then? Would we need to take turns, pick days or something stupid like that?" I chuckle, but there's not much humor in it at all. "Would that kind of relationship be something I'm comfortable with, both emotionally and morally? I mean, would I hate myself for feeling like I'm always cheating on all of you at the same time, because I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but I genuinely feel guilty whenever I make you guys feel cheated on. And would I tell my family about our relationship or would I be too ashamed to? All of these questions are why I never made promises to any one of you. I didn't know how."