Ditched Cheating Alpha, I Led My Daughter to Life's Peak novel Chapter 161

"It's better than the luna and a beta being killed," I say.

I don't know why I say it, but it just comes out, along with the image of Onai bleeding out on my doorstep. I thought he was dead. And it would've been my fault because he had to protect me before himself, alone. She wasn't there, so I don't really think she should have an opinion on it. She wouldn't know, but I brace myself for the backlash all the same.

Nothing comes. No yelling. No screaming. No order for another five laps.

Instead, it seems like everyone falls into a thoughtful silence. Eventually, one by one the room agrees.

Everyone except for me. Wait, what? I just said it was a better option. I didn't agree. I don't wanna go around the pack again and risk a part two. I'm with Aiden. Heck no, but it's too late now. I rub my forehead, trying to fight off the headache that's inevitably coming from all of this. "So let me get this straight," I start. "I need to meet allies, explore the pack, and apologize to Suzie? All while making sure I don't get killed?"

"Yes, Mia. Try to keep up," Aiden says.

I glare at him, but I'm more frustrated by the situation in general. All that stuff may not seem like a lot, but it's on top of figuring out how to get Michael to not spill about my heart condition to our parents, figuring out the situation with Carson, and hanging out with Megan this weekend before she feels like an abandoned sister. Did I miss anything?

Oh yeah, my mom still wants to have that talk later today about why there was blood on the floor. I can't do this.

Krys rubs my shoulders out. "It's okay. Just take it one step at a time."

I stare into space in horror.

Aiden nods. "Paperwork. It's not like anyone else around here does it." He glares at his siblings and friends-can they even be called his friends? Does Aiden even have friends?

I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd like to get closer to him-I notice the way girls at school look at him in the halls. I just think he'd be insulted by anyone presuming to have the "privilege" of calling him their friend. Aiden's too... Aiden, you know? Having friends and being social is too... domestic for him. Could you imagine him joking with "the guys," cracking open a cold one, leaning back against a wall at a party hyping himself up? Talking about... football and girls?

I resist the urge to laugh at myself. Could you imagine it? Aiden talking about girls? About his first kiss? About his first time-which I guess technically hasn't happened, but still? Aiden-cranky, upset, infuriated Aiden-crushing on someone? I know he's supposed to like me, but isn't like it was a spontaneous, natural, organic crush. Aiden was compelled to like me, but could you imagine fourteen year old Aiden talking to Axel and Carson about a girl he started liking out of nowhere, just because? One that he ran into at a bookstore or in his bio class and just had to see again.Picture it, ittle Aiden pining in his room, whispering over his braces in his squeaky, pre-pubescent voice. Does she like me, does she not?

Could you imagine it? Aiden, stone cold Aiden, going through puberty and hormones and the angst that apparently never left him? Aiden learning how to ride a bike. Aiden holding his mother's hand, his dead mother's hand, whining, "Mommy, can I go on the swings again?" Aiden being potty trained. Aiden being a little baby who needed his butt wiped. Aiden being a snot-nosed, smart mouthed kid who just wanted nothing more than to strangle his brothers and see his mother one last time.

I know there had to be a time kind of like that, but I just can't believe it. I can't see him as anything other than this-the Aiden I know. I'm almost certain he came out of the womb fully grown, pissed off, and raging, just like he is now. But that can't be true. There had to be something before this. There'll definitely be something after. And if I know anything about people, there's something more right now. Who I know Aiden to be is probably just a fraction of who he actually is. Maybe I've been too busy to realize that.