Fake Dating My Ex's Hockey Star Brother (Maya Scott) novel Chapter 158

JUSTIN’S POV

Alison needs time, and I should give her that. I know I should. But my thoughts won’t give me the same courtesy. Even here in the gym, surrounded by noise and movement, she’s the only thing on my mind.

I load the cable row and slide my AirPods in, “Dark Red” by Steve Lacy bleeding softly into my ears as I grip the handle. I pull the tension biting back, my muscles burning but it does nothing to quiet my head.

I shouldn’t be thinking about calling her.

I pull again.

I shouldn’t have slept with her that night.

I pull again.

She was vulnerable, and I should have stopped it. Not doing that was on me.

I pull again.

Will she ever talk to me again, or did I finally ruin everything?

Fuck. Allison shouldn’t have looked at me like that.

I lose every time she does, every time when her eyes lock on mine like I’m the only thing in the room. I tell myself she probably looks at other guys the same way, walking around with that confidence, unaware of what it does to people. But it always gets me. Every damn time.

She’s the one person I lose control around, and my first mistake was bringing her back to my apartment. Nothing would have happened even if we get stuck indoors together for a whole month. I know that for a fact. But then she started looking at me like that and she begged to use me.

She actually begged to use me. And I tried, God, I really tried to stop it. I did. But now I just feel like a piece of shit, even though it was consensual. Even though she wanted it too.

Maybe it wouldn’t feel this bad if I hadn’t opened my mouth and admitted the truth. That I’ve been hung up on her for two years. Who the hell hears something like that and doesn’t run away like she did?

This is why I budget ten sentences, three smiles, and five curse words a day-to stop myself from talking too much and sounding like a damn loser.

I let go of the cable just as Zach walks up to me, a bottle of water in hand and a towel slung around his neck. His mouth is already moving, but I don’t catch a word until I pull one AirPod out and wipe the sweat from my face.

“What are you yapping about?” I ask.

He leans against one of the poles. “You pissed about missing the game tonight?”

I’d completely forgotten I was even suspended. That’s not my cup of tea right now.

I glance at him. “Do I look sad to you?”

He studies me like I’m the first athlete to ever get benched.

“Chill,” I mutter. “I’m not some wet cat, so quit looking at me like that.”

“I could feel your bad vibe from across the room,” he says, jerking a thumb toward the rack he was using. “Even the back of your hair looks stressed. Shit’s standing up.”

I blow out a breath and run a hand through it. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, but it’s three games. That’s nothing.”

I snap my head toward him. “Does it look like I give a damn about skating right now?”

He pauses.

“I’ve got real-life shit going on,” I add. “The kind that actually wrecks you.”

“Relax, J,” he says, tossing me the water. I catch it, sigh, and gulp the whole thing down while he watches, then screws the cap back on. “So…what’s got you all worked up?”

I stare at my sneakers for a few seconds, trying to figure out where to even start. Maybe with the fact that I couldn’t get over one girl for two years. Or that she finally dumps her loser boyfriend and the first thing I do is completely screw up every damn chance I had with her.

Yeah. That doesn’t sound like a normal problem.

So I settle for, “Would you give me some advice?”

He nods, running his tongue over his teeth. Zach’s basically the team mom if there’s something like that. He’s one of the oldest, crazy rich, throws insane parties, and somehow knows everyone and everything about Cadston. If I’m going to figure out whether I’ve completely screwed myself over, it’s from him.

“I’m still waiting,” he says, and I immediately sit up straighter.

“Okay…let’s say you’ve liked a girl for a while, and then she dumps her boyfriend. Is it messed up to hook up with her after that?” I finally manage to ask.

His eyebrows shoot up, and I can already feel the judgment coming. “How soon after that?”

I open my mouth, but the words won’t come. They claw at my throat, too damn embarrassing to say out loud.

“How soon, J?” he repeats.

I swallow and scratch the back of my neck. “The…same day,” I finally mutter.

“Same day?” His eyes go wide. “Allie broke up with Sean and you….you fucked her the same day?”

Am I that easy to read? How did he figure it out?

I bury my face in my elbows, groaning. “Am I doomed?”

“There’s no coming back from that,” he says, still staring like I just grew another head. “How the hell did you manage to screw up this bad?”

“I…don’t know,” I groan again. “I really don’t, man.”

He shrugs. “Well…won’t be the end of the world if you just want to keep it casual. Hookup buddies, you know…but-”

“Does it look like I want Allison as a hookup buddy?” I cut in, shooting him a glare.

He shakes his head. “Nope. Didn’t think so.”

I let out a slow breath, my shoulders slumping. Silence hangs for a few seconds before Zach steps up and pats my back.

“Best advice I can give? Pray like a motherfucker,” he says, patting me again. “You’re gonna need it if you actually wanna win her over.”

He walks off shaking his head, leaving me alone. Asshole. Did he really think I didn’t know I should pray?

I tilt my head, staring into space. Big guy…I need your help right now.

I rise to my feet, pull my phone from my pocket, and scroll to Allison’s contact. My thumb hovers over the call button. Should I? Should I not? Either way, I’m already in dangerous waters.

My heart kicks into overdrive as I hit dial. Calling her is one thing…but her actually picking up after running out of my place is a whole other level.

“Hello?” I panic when she actually picks up.

My hands shake as I bring the phone to my ear. “Hi…Allison.”

“Why’d you call me?” Her voice is annoyingly nonchalant. Is she sober? Drunk? Does she

“Yes, Justin, it’s the process whereby you have sex…”

“Don’t do that with me,” I cut in, shaking my head, then let out a frustrated sigh. “Why do you even want to have sex with random people?”

“My choice,” she snaps back.

My fingers clench at my sides, a whole lot of emotions running through me. “I… I can’t let you do that.”

There’s a beat of silence, then her tone rises. “What?”

“I said you can’t just go around hooking up with anyone. I won’t let you do that.”

“Excuse me, Justin, but since when do you tell me what to do?” Her voice hardens. “You think you have some patent over my clit just because you’ve seen it?”

I press my thumb to my forehead. There’s no such thing as overprotectiveness when it comes to stopping someone from self-sabotage.

“Allison… you can’t fuck Sean out of your mind like that,” I admit. “I know you feel cheated, after trusting and loving him for two years but you can’t get him out by doing this to yourself.

Silence stretches, and I have to check if she’s hung up but the call is still live.

“So, you draw the line when I want to use other men to get over my ex, but not when I use you?” Her voice floats over the line, then she chuckles. “You keep trying to make it seem like had sex with me because you’ve been so in love with me and couldn’t help yourself. Is that to make you feel moral or something? Just admit it…it was all about the sex for you. You saw an opportunity and you took it, just like every other guy would. You’re not better than anybody so end the hypocrisy.”

“That’s not-”

“Stop the bullshit!” she snaps, cutting me off. “I’m not gullible enough to let some sob story sway me. If you actually cared about me, you wouldn’t have slept with me the same day I dumped my boyfriend! That’s how it works! But hey, I’m not holding it against you so for the love of God, stop acting like you have my best interest at heart or that you’re better than every other guy out there. It’s pissing me off.”

My heart shatters, not just from her outburst, but because I caused it. Maybe she wouldn’t feel this shitty about herself if the one person she trusted-me-hadn’t ended up being a jerk. If only I held out, she wouldn’t think I don’t care about her.

I swallow back the hurt burning in my heart. “I don’t care what you say, Allison. I’m not gonna sit here and watch you self-sabotage. I owe you that much.”

“Then you’ll have to stop me,” she responds flatly. “May the best person win.”

“You can-”

She hangs up. “Hello?”

I stare at the phone, desperation overwhelming me. My jaw clenches, fingers curling around the edges of my phone as regret slams into me. I just pissed her off and somehow, I’ve let her turn this into a challenge.

And if there’s one thing I know about her, she hates losing anything. Nobody outdoes crazy

Allison and now, I’m in her crosshairs.

My feet are already moving before my brain catches up with me. I stop beside Zach, my pulse thudding hard enough that I can hear it in my ears.

He pauses mid-rep, one eyebrow lifting as he lowers the weights. “What’s wrong with you?”

“How fast can you get word across every dude in Cadston?”

He straightens, setting the weights down properly this time. “Depends. A few hours if I really push it. By tomorrow, everyone’ll know.”

“Good.” I nod. “I want it out today.”

He studies my face, then exhales. “Alright. What’s the message?”

“If anyone touches Allison, even a kiss…I’ll gut them. Make sure that part’s clear.”