Fake Dating My Ex's Hockey Star Brother (Maya Scott) novel Chapter 158

JUSTIN’S POV

Alison needs time, and I should give her that. I know I should. But my thoughts won’t give me the same courtesy. Even here in the gym, surrounded by noise and movement, she’s the only thing on my mind.

I load the cable row and slide my AirPods in, “Dark Red” by Steve Lacy bleeding softly into my ears as I grip the handle. I pull the tension biting back, my muscles burning but it does nothing to quiet my head.

I shouldn’t be thinking about calling her.

I pull again.

I shouldn’t have slept with her that night.

I pull again.

She was vulnerable, and I should have stopped it. Not doing that was on me.

I pull again.

Will she ever talk to me again, or did I finally ruin everything?

Fuck. Allison shouldn’t have looked at me like that.

I lose every time she does, every time when her eyes lock on mine like I’m the only thing in the room. I tell myself she probably looks at other guys the same way, walking around with that confidence, unaware of what it does to people. But it always gets me. Every damn time.

She’s the one person I lose control around, and my first mistake was bringing her back to my apartment. Nothing would have happened even if we get stuck indoors together for a whole month. I know that for a fact. But then she started looking at me like that and she begged to use me.

She actually begged to use me. And I tried, God, I really tried to stop it. I did. But now I just feel like a piece of shit, even though it was consensual. Even though she wanted it too.

Maybe it wouldn’t feel this bad if I hadn’t opened my mouth and admitted the truth. That I’ve been hung up on her for two years. Who the hell hears something like that and doesn’t run away like she did?

This is why I budget ten sentences, three smiles, and five curse words a day-to stop myself from talking too much and sounding like a damn loser.

I let go of the cable just as Zach walks up to me, a bottle of water in hand and a towel slung around his neck. His mouth is already moving, but I don’t catch a word until I pull one AirPod out and wipe the sweat from my face.

“What are you yapping about?” I ask.

He leans against one of the poles. “You pissed about missing the game tonight?”

I’d completely forgotten I was even suspended. That’s not my cup of tea right now.

I glance at him. “Do I look sad to you?”

He studies me like I’m the first athlete to ever get benched.

“Chill,” I mutter. “I’m not some wet cat, so quit looking at me like that.”

“I could feel your bad vibe from across the room,” he says, jerking a thumb toward the rack he was using. “Even the back of your hair looks stressed. Shit’s standing up.”

I blow out a breath and run a hand through it. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, but it’s three games. That’s nothing.”

I snap my head toward him. “Does it look like I give a damn about skating right now?”

He pauses.

“I’ve got real-life shit going on,” I add. “The kind that actually wrecks you.”

“Relax, J,” he says, tossing me the water. I catch it, sigh, and gulp the whole thing down while he watches, then screws the cap back on. “So…what’s got you all worked up?”

I stare at my sneakers for a few seconds, trying to figure out where to even start. Maybe with the fact that I couldn’t get over one girl for two years. Or that she finally dumps her loser boyfriend and the first thing I do is completely screw up every damn chance I had with her.

Yeah. That doesn’t sound like a normal problem.

So I settle for, “Would you give me some advice?”

He nods, running his tongue over his teeth. Zach’s basically the team mom if there’s something like that. He’s one of the oldest, crazy rich, throws insane parties, and somehow knows everyone and everything about Cadston. If I’m going to figure out whether I’ve completely screwed myself over, it’s from him.

“I’m still waiting,” he says, and I immediately sit up straighter.

“Okay…let’s say you’ve liked a girl for a while, and then she dumps her boyfriend. Is it messed up to hook up with her after that?” I finally manage to ask.

His eyebrows shoot up, and I can already feel the judgment coming. “How soon after that?”

I open my mouth, but the words won’t come. They claw at my throat, too damn embarrassing to say out loud.

“How soon, J?” he repeats.

I swallow and scratch the back of my neck. “The…same day,” I finally mutter.

“Same day?” His eyes go wide. “Allie broke up with Sean and you….you fucked her the same day?”

Am I that easy to read? How did he figure it out?

I bury my face in my elbows, groaning. “Am I doomed?”

“There’s no coming back from that,” he says, still staring like I just grew another head. “How the hell did you manage to screw up this bad?”

“I…don’t know,” I groan again. “I really don’t, man.”

He shrugs. “Well…won’t be the end of the world if you just want to keep it casual. Hookup buddies, you know…but-”

“Does it look like I want Allison as a hookup buddy?” I cut in, shooting him a glare.

He shakes his head. “Nope. Didn’t think so.”

I let out a slow breath, my shoulders slumping. Silence hangs for a few seconds before Zach steps up and pats my back.

“Best advice I can give? Pray like a motherfucker,” he says, patting me again. “You’re gonna need it if you actually wanna win her over.”

He walks off shaking his head, leaving me alone. Asshole. Did he really think I didn’t know I should pray?

I tilt my head, staring into space. Big guy…I need your help right now.

I rise to my feet, pull my phone from my pocket, and scroll to Allison’s contact. My thumb hovers over the call button. Should I? Should I not? Either way, I’m already in dangerous waters.

My heart kicks into overdrive as I hit dial. Calling her is one thing…but her actually picking up after running out of my place is a whole other level.

“Hello?” I panic when she actually picks up.

My hands shake as I bring the phone to my ear. “Hi…Allison.”

“Why’d you call me?” Her voice is annoyingly nonchalant. Is she sober? Drunk? Does she

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