Fake Dating My Ex's Hockey Star Brother (Maya Scott) novel Chapter 174

JUSTIN’S POV

Texting Allison is useless. She’s either blatantly snubbing me, or she’s blocked me. I’m betting on the second one.

Yeah… I finally did it. I crossed the line and told her the truth she needed to hear, and now I’m officially Public Enemy No. 1. But maybe it’s not all bad. I know Allison and she digests things more than she likes to admit. She’ll think about what I said, and whether she realizes it or not, she’ll start working on herself.

And I’ll be on the sidelines, cheering her on the best way I can. A bit loser-ish, yeah, but I think I love her enough to watch her be happy, even if it’s with someone else who’s actually good to her. As long as she’s happy… that’s all that matters.

“Now, where’s the cabbage?” I mutter, reaching for the small patch I have left. Meal prepping for the week feels like the only thing keeping me halfway sane between thoughts of Allison. Somehow, even with her taking over my brain, I’ve made some progress.

I slide the last bowl into the fridge when a knock reaches my ears. I pause, my eyes narrowing, and listen. Then it comes again.

Someone’s definitely there.

I cross the apartment, pull the door open and my breath suddenly stalls. For a second, I have to blink, just to make sure my brain isn’t screwing with me.

But it’s not.

Allison is standing right outside my door, wrapped in a jacket and pajama trousers. Her face is flushed, too red to be just the cold like she’s been crying or trying not to. Allison.” I catch myself, then push the door open wider. “Come in.”

She hesitates, like she’s weighing every step, then finally walks inside. I close the door behind her and turn to face her, her eyes searching mine.

“Justin…” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “I.. I don’t know why I’m here.”

I nod slowly. “That’s fine. Tea? Do you want some?”

She shakes her head, biting her lip. “No… I think I have… something to say.”

“Okay,” I say softly, stepping closer. “I’m listening. You can tell me anything.”

She struggles to speak, and this isn’t the confident Allison I’m used to. Something happened today to crack her like this, and I want to reach out, wipe it away, fix it or do anything to make her pain

Her chest rises sharply with a trembling breath, and then tears streak down her cheeks. She tries to force a smile at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes

“You’re the only one who sees me cry and doesn’t blame me,” she whispers. “Even when it’s my fault. So… please don’t be mad that I don’t have anyone else to tell this to.”

“Allison, I’d never be mad at-”

“I don’t know what to do,” she cuts in, her voice breaking. Her lips tremble and she presses them together like that might hold her together too. “I don’t know how to be myself anymore. It’s messed up because Sean did all that to me, and I know my heart isn’t there anymore. I know that part.”

She swallows, her gaze dropping to the floor. “But my body… my identity…they didn’t leave with my heart.”

My chest tightens, but I stay quiet. Let her talk.

“I wake up every day, get dressed, and I can’t even tell if I like what I’m wearing,” she continues, a bitter little laugh slipping out. “Because there’s no one to send it to, no one to react. Sean used to care so much about what I wore. He’d comment on everything and it was always sexual, always

“I want you to help me figure out who I used to be,” she says. “I want you to help me let go of Sean without completely falling apart. When I’m around you, my head gets quieter and I don’t feel like

everything about me is stupid or ruined. I know it’s selfish to ask this. I know it is. But right now, you’re the only person who makes me feel like I still have a chance at… something normal. Something real.” Her shoulders tense. “I want to know what real love feels like.”

I nod and reach out, hesitating for half a second before gently patting her hair.

“You have more than a chance, Allison. You’re loved and you don’t have to feel selfish for coming to me. I’m here. Tell me what you need.”

“Can you love me even if I have nothing to give?” Her mouth tries for a smile. It doesn’t work. “I don’t love you right now, at least not as much as you do. I don’t know if I’ll ever love you as much as you love me or open my heart to you. But I want to feel something. For once, I want to take instead of always giving. I want to be wanted by someone who actually sees me.”

Her voice drops. “I do like you, Justin. I’m just scared it’s not enough.”

Maybe I don’t love her enough to let her go because hearing her say that makes me want to hold on forever, to protect her until I’m old and gray.

I nod again, reaching out to take her hands. “I already love you, Allison. And I don’t care what you can offer. I love you as you are. I’ve tried to stop loving you, but it’s all I can do. I wake up every day thinking of you. I want to make you happy, to make you smile. Every second I spend with you is… magical, and infuriating when I think it could end.”

I fold her hands. “If you want to feel something, I will make you feel everything you need.”

For a long moment, the only sound in the apartment is the steady rhythm of our breathing.

Then she rises onto her toes and kisses me.