From Rejected Luna To Lycan Queen (Eloise and Edward) novel Chapter 243

Chapter 243 Hundred Shades Of Fucked Up

ELOISE.

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“I crave you. I think you’ll run away from me if you understand the level of what I feel for you. It’s so scary that I myself don’t have a name for it yet. It feels like you’re an anchor, my anchor. Holding me together and making me feel like I can totally conquer the world and face anything”

“When you’re not with me, it drives me insane because I always want to see you, I always need you in my space. I need you to understand that and not let any woman from anywhere make you believe otherwise. You’re exactly what I need and you’re stuck with me because I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. We will fix any issues we have, but we are both stuck together.” he said and I smiled lightly, wanting to ask him one question.

Would we still be stuck together even after the contract ends? I didn’t know the answer to that and I wasn’t sure he did, it would be unfair to lay the whole thing on him now.

“Is that why you think you don’t deserve me?” I asked him.

He stayed quiet for a while.

“I’m fucked up, Ma. I’m a hundred shades fucked up, I don’t have any good left for me. I’ve done a lot of bad things, I will definitely still do a lot of bad things and you’re pure. I’m trying to be better for you even though I don’t know if I will ever be able to achieve that and it would make sense to let you go at this point that I have realised how bad I am for you.” he said and I stiffened.

“But I’m too selfish. I won’t let another man have you. Because no one else belongs with me, you are the only one. So I’ll try to be good, strive to be better, and make sure that I deserve you. And that’s why I’m taking this celibacy thing seriously, I need you to know that I can be celibate. I can do without having sex a—‘

“I know this already. It’s been almost two months, Damon. It almost feels like you’re punishing yourself.” I said and he kept quiet, my eyes widened at the realisation.

“Oh Goddess, is that what you’ve been doing? Have you been punishing yourself? Why?” I asked, really curious.

“I–I don’t want to hurt you and on the day you told me about this celibacy thing, it sounded like I hurt you, or like I’ve been having too much sex with you and-”

“Damon, that’s enough,” I said and stood up from his lap again.

“Thats enough. Enough mopping around. You hurt me? How would you do that when it even took all the courage in me to talk about that celibacy thing, I didn’t even know you’d agree to it, i thought you will throw me on the bed and then fuck the thought out of my brain and show me what I wanted to miss, but then you respected my decision and it made me see you in a different light.”

“And then I started regretting ever saying that because you kept seducing me, I’ve tried to make myself orgasim a thousand times since that night but guess who couldn’t? Me. I couldn’t. It’s been driving me insane because I was also trying to get you to fuck me but it seemed futile. It seemed like you were not attracted to me anymore and I hated it. The thought was driving me insane, okay?” I said, trying not to cry at the frustration.

“Damon, I’m tired, I miss you, I miss your body against mine. I miss your cock in me, I miss the way you make me feel. I’m tired of trying to make you notice me, I’m tired of trying to seduce you. I won’t cheat on you because I’m not bike that but this is going to be the last time I’ll ever ask for you to fuck me, or even talk about this. If you want to keep on thinking that you’re hurting me, then go abeat because I don’t know how else to convince you that I don’t need you to stop, but to continue.” I said and turned around to leave but waited to say something.

11:06 am

ppp.

Chapter 243 Hundred Shades Of Fucked Up

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“And PS: I regret ever talking about celibacy,” I said, and then walked off to our room because I needed to be wrapped around his embrace and the only way I could do that now was to wrap myself around our duvet. I understood him, after everything he’s been through.

But I was also scared, what if he continued like this and he never touched me again? I think that was the main reason that panicked earlier.

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