Mom let out a raw, broken wail.
Then she started slapping herself across the face and, in her regret, started banging her head against the wall.
“This is all my fault, all my fault. Penny only made jamie choke on a mouthful of water. Why did I do
that to her?”
“Penny, my Penny… it’s all your mother’s fault. I’m so sorry…”
Everyone’s eyes were red with grief. My grandma on Mom’s side choked out, “When the washer was running, she must have been fighting for her life in there, making all that noise. How could you
not hear her?”
Mom and Dad looked at each other like they’d just remembered something terrible.
Mom suddenly clutched her stomach and dry–heaved a few times, then turned and bolted into the
bathroom.
Dad’s eyes went blank as he muttered, “That day we did hear noises coming from the washer, but
the baby was choking. We were busy rushing him to the hospital.”
Grandma from Dad’s side exploded. “If you heard something, how did it not occur to you to go check? If you’d just looked, my granddaughter wouldn’t be dead!”
Dad’s eyes filled with tears, and a single tear slid down.
“We did go look. We thought it was Penny throwing a tantrum, making noise on purpose to get our
attention.”
Grandma grabbed Dad by the front of his shirt, sobbing so hard she could barely straighten up.
I wanted so badly to tell my grandparents not to cry
It had been so stifling inside that washer, and it hur so much to be tossed around, banging against the metal drum.
At least now I wasn’t in pain anymore,
Dad stared at my body like his soul had been sucked out of him.
He knelt down and lifted me into his arms, carefully smoothing my hair back into place.
“Penny, Daddy was wrong.”
“You went through hell. I’m going to find a peaceful place where you can rest.”
My grandparents on Dad’s side tried to stop him, telling him he couldn’t just carry me out like that
Chapter 6
51.79%
in front of everyone, but no one could hold Dad back
He carried me into the elevator. The second the doors opened, the little kids inside took one look at me and burst into frightened screams.
The news that my parents had let me die in the washing machine spread through the whole apartment complex in no time.
They buried me.
Mom and Dad knelt in front of the grave, at first sobbing so hard they couldn’t breathe, until eventually they ran out of tears altogether.
“Penny, we ignored how you felt. We weren’t good parents.”
“We had your brother so you’d have someone by your side, someone you could count on. Mom and
Dad can’t be with forever.”
you
“But… how did it turn into this?”
“I kept telling myself I couldn’t play favorites, but… I’m sorry. We didn’t do right by you. We failed
you.”
I listened from the side, my heart sour and aching.
I wanted to tell Mom and Dad that it was okay, but whenever the words reached my mouth, I couldn’t push them out.
Was it really okay?
Ever since my brother was born, my parents had told everyone what a great big sister I was, how I took care of Jamie in every way.
How I was willing to hand over all my toys to him, and how I volunteered to help with chores around
the house.
I never wanted any of that. It was like Mom and Dad pushed me into that role and wouldn’t let me be anything else.
If I didn’t go along, I was the ungrateful one, the bad big sister.
Helping my brother take a bath that day—I only did it because I wanted Mom and Dad to praise me.
After thinking it over, I squatted in front of the headstone and reached out to ruffle Mom and Dad’s
hair.
Don’t cry anymore. I’m not mad at you.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.

Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: Golden Cage Mommy Mutiny (Elyse)