The man’s voice was soft, like a fleeting sigh. But they were so close that she heard it clearly.
Shen Tang’s heart trembled, her mind suddenly went blank, as if she had lost the ability to think. She could smell the cool enchanting scent emanating from the man, stirring a long-lost, familiar sense of yearning deep within her.
After a long silence, she softly said, "You were so foolish, giving me something so important, and almost sacrificing a life."
She turned to look at him, her voice tinged with slight bitterness, "Not even your tail could... be saved."
Shen Li saw her eyes slightly moist, full of guilt and resentment, but ultimately no longer a stagnant dead water.
He chuckled softly, "I willingly gave it to you; all consequences I bear myself. You need not blame yourself, you did nothing wrong."
Shen Tang shook her head insistently, "Don’t try to absolve me! I made a mistake; a mistake is a mistake! That night I shouldn’t have been so impulsive, I—I didn’t know your heart already had a serious injury, if an accident truly happened that night, I wouldn’t know how to make amends."
Emotions are always prone to impulsiveness.
Words spoken and actions taken in moments of heightened emotion are often uncontrollable even to oneself. Both were like this.
Afterwards, when things are cleared up, regret inevitably arises; unfortunately, the actions done cannot be undone. Sometimes, there’s not even a chance to explain again.
Shen Tang’s fingers stroked his chest, unable to maintain calm, her voice carrying a trace of guilt, "I’m sorry, does it still hurt here?"
The man’s chest was smooth and flawless, showing no hint of scars, but she knew it had endured countless wounds.
Speaking this, she felt more uncomfortable, mumbled softly, "After I left that night, what were you thinking?"
Shen Li wrapped her hand over his chest, looking into her eyes, his voice carried a long-lost hint of laughter, "Do you really want to know? You promise not to be upset if I tell you?"
"I want to know!" she insisted.
Shen Li held her tighter in his arms, as if wanting to meld her into his bones and blood, his thin lips brushed softly against her earlobe, voice mixed with a gentle sigh, "...Do you know the words you said that night when you stabbed my heart were so hurtful."
"Far more painful than that stab."
"You hurt me first!" Shen Tang pushed him away, displeased, "If you’d explained properly at the time, it would’ve been fine, but you insisted on being so cold, saying provoking words, and did those things... If you hadn’t upset me, how could I possibly have laid hands on you?"
"Xiao Tang’er, you and I are destined to part ways. That farewell at the volcano was meant to make you let go, but I didn’t expect you would come to find me again."
Shen Li’s fingers pressed against her waist, his voice hoarse, "I can’t help my feelings for you, yet cannot get close, might as well make you hate and resent me, keep you away from me."
"What about now?" she pursued, "Do you still think so?"
Shen Li was silent.
Shen Tang’s expression gradually faded, returning to that indifferent demeanor.
She left him a phrase "Rest well." and attempted to rise from his embrace to leave.
Shen Li extended his long arms, pulling her back into his embrace, his voice carrying a touch of helplessness, "Didn’t we agree not to be angry?"
"Since you planned everything ahead, what do you expect me to say or do?" Luckily, she had already drunk Forgetfulness Water, or she would be incensed again today.
Forgetfulness Water only clears past emotional cache; it doesn’t mean she’s cut off from emotions, turned to stone.
Listening to Shen Li’s words, her emotions still ripple ever so slightly.
There is anger, there is loss, perhaps there are other feelings... she couldn’t quite say.
In any case, she has no good face for him!
"Whenever I think of them, my heart aches."
In truth, Shen Li didn’t give Shen Tang a chance to open her mouth, flipping over to press her underneath, drawing close to kiss her lips.
His kiss carried tentative delicacy, a teasing nibble that came and went.
Perhaps afraid of stirring her resentment again, his movements were restrained and gentle, mere soft touches like a puppy sniffing and licking, bit by bit softening her slightly rigid body.
Shen Tang did not push him away again, but neither did she respond to him.
She simply silently endured his overture.
Shen Li felt a touch of bitterness from within, knowing she hadn’t truly unlocked her heart’s knot.
The kisses slowly migrated from her lips to her chin, to her slender fair neck. His voice deepened, laced with rare sadness, "...Do you remember saying before that I became unfamiliar in the Imperial Palace."
Shen Tang finally reacted slightly, her gaze shifted towards him, and she responded with a low hum.
When she first encountered Ji Jiuli in the Imperial Palace, he seemed entirely a different person, unfamiliar to the point of fear. She had even suspected him to be a twin brother.
With the movement, Shen Li’s voice deepened, carrying a rare trace of sorrow, "...Mother and father left early, I ascended the throne young, burdened with great pressure, in the palace I had to learn to disguise."
"Xiao Tang’er, you are now a Monarch too, you should understand my helplessness."
"I could only don the hardest, most heartless armor to cover all my weaknesses, in order to survive in the palace."
Saying this, Shen Li looked at her, fingers gently caressing her brow, "You always felt I deceived you, pretending to be by your side as a spy, but in truth only with you during those days could I take off the mask, let go of everything, being an ordinary Red Fox Shen Li, rather than Emperor Ji Jiuli of Yiyuan."
"With you, it was the most carefree and happiest days of my twenty years."

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