HIS STRIPPER, HIS WIFE novel Chapter 115

Chapter one hundred and fifteen.

Bianca

The tears came fast, faster than I expected, and as they started I couldn’t stop them. I stood there with my back against the bathroom door, both hands braced on the sink, watching my reflection fall apart piece by piece in the mirror.

I felt so many things at once, I felt used, I felt stupid, and like the biggest fool in the world for believing every single word that came out of his mouth last night, for melting into him like he was the only safe place left in the world, when this whole time there was a whole article waiting to be published, a whole engagement waiting to be announced.

I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep the sound in, but it didn’t help much. My shoulders kept shaking anyway, I thought about the wallpaper.

I thought about him saying only you, not once, but twice, like it was supposed to mean something solid. I thought about his forehead against mine last night, how he had said he wanted every part of me like he actually meant it.

Had any of it meant anything at all, or was I just something to pass the time with before the real plan kicked in?

I wiped my face with the back of my hand, making my mascara worse than it probably already was, and reached into my pocket for my phone. My fingers were shaking so much it took two tries to unlock it. I didn’t even think about who to call. My thumb just found Amanda’s name and pressed it before my brain caught up with what I was doing.

It rang twice before she picked up.

“Hey,” Amanda said, casually. I could hear noise behind her, like she was walking somewhere, maybe leaving her own office for lunch. “What’s up?”

I opened my mouth to say something normal, something like nothing, just wanted to hear your voice, but the second she asked the next question, everything cracked wide open.

“Girl, are you good?”

That was it, that was all it took. The dam broke completely and I started sobbing into the phone.

“Whoa, whoa, Bianca, what’s wrong?” Amanda’s voice changed instantly, all the casualness gone, replaced with seriousness. I could hear her footsteps stop wherever she was. “Talk to me. What happened?”

“Amanda, did you see the news?” I managed to get out between breaths, my voice cracking on every other word. “With Adrian and…”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence. “Ohh,” Amanda said slowly, and I could practically hear her face shift on the other end, the moment it clicked. “Wait, I thought we moved past that whole thing. I thought you two were figuring it out and not talking.”

“Amanda, I’m such a fool,” I said, my voice breaking again. “I don’t ever listen. I never listen to my own instincts, I just walk right into things and I am…”

“Hey Hey, calm down, Bianca.” Her voice dropped lower, the way it always did when she switched from friend mode into the version of her that actually held things together, and she was so good at that.. “Talk to me properly. Did something happen? Did he do something to you?”

“Amanda, yes. It did, and I’m so sorry.” I was still crying, wiping at my face with a wad of tissue I had grabbed off the little shelf by the sink, my chest tight and aching. “I deserve this, I really do. I should have known better.”

“Hold on, hold on.” I could hear her moving again, faster this time. “You are going to be fine, no matter what is running through your head right now. I need you to breathe and tell me exactly what is wrong, from the start.”

I took a shaky breath, closed my eyes, and let it come out in a rush. “We saw each other yesterday. And yes, we did some things, the thing you’re already thinking about, and yeah, it was good, Amanda, it was really good. I was actually waiting to tell you about it later because it felt like we finally had direction, like something real was actually starting between us, and it was….” I let out a laugh,“Argh.”

“But I should have known,” I whispered. “Everyone knew before me. It’s probably been sitting in some newsroom for days and I was the last one to find out, lying in his bed like an idiot.”

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