Holiday Hockey Tale The Icebreaker's Impasse (By Ivory Row) novel Chapter 2

Luci

“Feels like we’re using him in a science experiment.” I resist slightly.

“More like a real life test run so we can keep him away from her. Kingston is right. We need to know how she’ll treat him. I’d rather expose him to her in a controlled situation than the court ordering me to send him home with her for an entire weekend away from my eyes and ears.

You said it’s important to let him drive this train Luci. I want to do what’s best for him even if it’s hard.” Easton looks grim.

Becker leans back. “Do we need to cater to her in order for her to agree with this our way? You make a big deal out of asking her or do we let Luci do it acting like you relegated the task to her and she’s begging Lorelei to take him? I don’t think you should be there, Easton. She’ll be trying to get your focus the entire time. Needs to be one of us.” He points to me. “Not you, Luci

Lou. You are her competition.”

“Make it seem like Cole is begging for her time instead?” Jackson suggests.

“Possibly. Let me ask how we should go about this. The play should be worth recording. All those kids on stage putting on a show like her job. Another competition between that and those single thirsty moms from last time. At least we’d have witnesses. Ask Mrs. Hutchins to put her in the back row.” Kingston frowns.

“Find out. I’ll get Jessie to start drawing something up. Which of you does she find least consequential?” Mr. Jason looks between them.

I answer. “Kingston. Jackson is Easton’s twin, so his bond is competing with her and she will be trying to one up Becker the whole visit.”

“I agree. But ask the therapist. Could we pay her to observe and give us more insight or an official diagnosis?” Jackson adds in thoughtfully.

“Yes she’s available. I asked.” Kingston takes his plate to the sink.

“Cole’s program is at 8:30 on Friday and he’s out of school after that. Let’s see if Jessie can have them meet at 11 and get this out of the way.” Mr. Jason types into his phone.

“I agree.” Easton says with resignation.

“Could Barrett come for a sleepover Friday night after the game? I think it would help Cole after that meeting and I can stay to watch them.”

“Of course he can.” Easton stares at me thoughtfully. He goes to put his plate away. “Need to go study for anything tomorrow? I can read your notes if you want.”

I nod. We need to talk but not for my exams. Tomorrow’s are not ones I am concerned about.

He takes my hand to walk to his room. “What do I need to read?”

“Nothing. I want to talk.”

“Sounds serious. Luci, did you really think I was going to be angry about Cole asking to see her?” He doesn’t touch me but moves close enough, I have to crane my neck to see his face.

“I was a little. I went and promised him we would do that without checking with you first. His actual parent. I know you are very angry with her being back. Hurt and angry. I just, forgot my place.” I end with that and he frowns.

“Your place…Luci what do you think your place is?” His face gives nothing away.

“My place is to love him and be there for him. I mean I take care of him, but I’m not his parent.

You should have the final say.” I admit.

His hands move to rest on my hips. “Finally found where the wise Luci is wrong.” He leans his forehead to mine. “Are you listening fully to me?”

“Yes.” My heart is pounding.

“Your place is next to me to make those decisions. The ones we make to raise our little boy. You are his mom, Luci, in every sense of the word. You love him, listen to him, put his needs first. It can’t have been easy for you to hear he wants to see her, expected or not.”

“But I’m…I’m not. He has a mom.” I need to make that distinction.

“He has a womb and egg provider. Biological mother. You are his mom, sweetness. Even he recognizes it. He doesn’t call you that…yet. But he treats you in that aspect entirely.”

I can’t stop the tears that slip out slowly. “Luci, did you really think you merited only the nanny role she referred to you as?”

“I don’t want to overstep.” I whisper.

“You can’t.” He answers simply. I stare silently, absorbing his words.

“Let that sink in. What did you need to discuss?”

“How you are feeling about her presence. Beyond just telling me what she’s done.” Before we bring her front and center with Cole, I want him to get it out.

“I’m torn like you said between hurt, fear, and anger. Mostly anger. On one hand, I wish she hadn’t come back. On the other, let’s get it over with. One less thing to haunt me later. I fear how long she’ll be here. Irritated with myself for playing her game for so long. Upset I almost ruined my life for her and chased her down. I’m irate she hasn’t worried about my son in any way, but not surprised. I’m f*****g pissed she went after you.” He blows out a breath. “I f*****g hate her being nearby lurking, but only for Cole’s sake and yours. The hurt is for the loss Cole might feel for not having a relationship with her regardless of her issues. Because like you said, she will always be tied to Cole’s life. It has confirmed what I already knew. Seeing her shows me how special you are to me. How deep my feelings for you run. The difference between real love and a manipulated, immature, infatuated love.” He presses a gentle kiss to my lips. “This is real love like you told Cole.”

Easton

“Your turn. How is my girl feeling?”

Her hands grip my forearms. Seeing her so thoughtful when I got home had me terrified Lorelei had come by again.

“I’m worried how she’s going to affect Cole, especially with the holiday. When she was running toward you that day, it was like a nightmare in slow motion. Knowing she was going to touch you…it…everything in me wanted to fall apart.”

“I’d never let her touch me Luci.” She nods but she’s agitated.

“I’m…I’m angry. She had the audacity to approach me for insider trading on the child she deserted! I wanted to knock her across the room. And worse, if Kingston and that therapist are correct, she doesn’t even want a relationship with either of you for any reason other than the fact she needs your adoration and attention. Her needs! I want to scream at…at her but also anyone who’s enabled her. Cole was so scared he was going to upset you or me asking to see her and she can’t even give two seconds to truly wonder about him! She acts like you belong to her and should embrace her after she ghosted you. I’ve never been this angry at anyone before. Anyone.”

“Because she continues to hurt Cole. You care about him.” I run my hands up and down her upper arms.

“And you. Don’t leave yourself out. I don’t like anyone hurting you. You are mine to worry about. “She emphasizes each sentence with a gentle poke into my chest. “If she has this disorder and she knew about it, I’ll be absolutely furious that she didn’t tell you. If you are in a relationship with someone and you have an issue like that, you share it. They need tricks to be at your side and knowledge to handle it, not to mention deciding if they want to carry that baggage.” She pauses and I consider that. It will piss me off to no end if I find out she hid that.

Especially since Cole would have been at risk from her behavior.

“I told Sydney and Banning about my issues soon after we became friends. Told Stormi on our initial coffee meeting once I realized she could be a good friend. It’s not fun to reveal your problems, but if they are going to be around they need to be prepared. To decide if they want to stick around that. I told you my two triggers, a little slower than I probably should have. I wasn’t truly sure you’d want to continue this. We weren’t dating when I told you about my ADHD. I was scared to tell you but did it for your concern over Cole. I wasn’t exactly your friend though and thought you might fire me or make fun of me.”

“You had to learn to trust me. Did you see a trauma therapist for your triggers?” I never thought to ask that before. I know she saw a psychologist to diagnose her ADHD and the triggers that showed up later as a teenager. Janet was very proactive to get her help.

“No I didn’t. The psychologist taught me tricks to deal with them and I saw her for two years.”

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