I Forgot I Loved You Alpha (Ellie and Nolan) novel Chapter 109

Chapter 109

Ellie POV

The packhouse felt different without Felicity.

Of course, it wasn’t just her who was gone. Half the staff was sent away the same day. I was pretty sure Nolan didn’t sleep at all that night. Now, days later, I still wasn’t sure he’d slept much.

The packhouse was too quiet in some ways, too tense in others. The feeling of being watched, of being followed, was gone. But the absence wasn’t peace-it was the heavy silence after the chaos of a storm. We were all waiting to see the damage in the aftermath.

Nolan was unraveling.

He tried to hide it, but I saw the cracks. The way his hands balled into fists when warriors hesitated to follow his orders. The clipped, harsh tone he used with the kitchen staff when the food wasn’t ready fast enough.

The shadows under his eyes from nights spent buried in reports instead of sleeping.

Felicity’s supporters had been rooted out, one by one. Some left willingly, tails tucked, while others had to be escorted from the territory in disgrace. Nolan had ordered the entire household staff investigated, and the process left everyone twitchy and raw.

Even the most loyal servants looked over their shoulders like they expected to be accused next.

And the worst part is that he was fully justified. This wasn’t a witch hunt. He had all of the proof of betrayal from those we had thought could be trusted.

I watched some of them leave, feeling my stomach twist with disgust and anger as I saw many of the people I had entrusted my safety to leave in disgrace for actively working to harm me.

I understood why he was doing it, all of us did. She had poisoned me once. If Nolan hadn’t dug deep enough, if he’d missed someone… well, it didn’t bear thinking about.

But still, watching the fear spread through the pack like wildfire unsettled me. This wasn’t just an Alpha ensuring loyalty. This was Nolan on a knife’s edge, lashing out at anyone close enough to touch.

And it scared me, just a little.

Not because I thought he’d hurt me-never that—but because the man who once carried his burdens so carefully was now letting them bleed through every crack.

He’d banished the woman who knew him best, and now it seemed he didn’t quite know how to hold himself together without her shadow looming nearby.

She had broken his trust completely.

When he snapped at a young warrior in the courtyard-barking so sharply the poor boy nearly dropped his training spear-I found myself flinching. Not at Nolan’s voice, but at how emotional his tone was. A dangerous edge, born from wounds too deep to heal.

I didn’t know how to help him. I didn’t even know if he wanted help.

Which was why, when Rae arrived, I nearly collapsed into her arms with relief.

She came breezing in like sunlight after weeks of storms, her smile warm, her laughter easy. “Ellie, you look like hell. Have you left the house at all this week or have you decided to waste away like some tragic novel character?”

1/3

Chapter 109

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Her teasing tone pulled a laugh out of me before I could stop it. “You’re exaggerating. He hasn’t locked me away. Just… hovering. Constantly.”

“Mm. Sounds romantic,” she said dryly, wrinkling her nose. “Or suffocating.”

We slipped into my sitting room, away from the watchful eyes of warriors and staff, and for the first time in days, I felt myself breathe freely.

Rae poured herself a cup of tea from the tray and curled her feet under her on the couch, as comfortable as if she lived here. “So, have you thought any more about Moonstone?”

The question stilled me. I had, of course-I thought about it every night when I lay awake staring at the ceiling, picturing my boys. Wondering if they were eating enough, if they were crying for me. The ache of not holding them was its own form of torture.

“Yes,” I admitted softly. “I think… I think I need to go soon. I can’t stand being this far away anymore.

Rae reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Then let’s go together. A few days at Moonstone would do you good. And the boys. Plus, I haven’t actually met them yet. I’m dying to pinch their cute little cheeks.”

Her certainty steadied me. I nodded, fighting the lump in my throat. “All right. Soon.”

Rae leaned back, a sly smile tugging at her lips. “Good. Because I hear Cassian’s been a very doting uncle, but I’m sure he’d like a break… or maybe we could visit with him, too.”

The shift in her tone was enough to make me arch a brow. “Oh?”

She pretended not to notice, taking a long sip of tea that didn’t quite hide the faint flush creeping up her cheeks.

My lips curved. “Rae… do you have a crush on Cassian?”

Her eyes snapped to mine, wide with mock outrage. “What? No. Absolutely not.”

I tilted my head, enjoying this far too much. “You got defensive awfully fast.”

“I did not!” she shot back, setting her teacup down with a little too much force. “I’m simply saying that Cassian has been taking care of the boys, and if you’re going to see the boys, chances are he’ll be around. That’s all.”

I smirked, leaning on my hand. “Uh-huh. And I suppose the fact that you just turned red has nothing to do with him.”

“I’m not red,” she muttered, fanning her face. “It’s just warm in here.”

I laughed, the sound bubbling up so easily it surprised me. “Rae, it’s fine. You can admit it. He’s handsome. And… honestly, you could do worse.”

Her glare softened into reluctant amusement. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re blushing.”

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