I Forgot I Loved You Alpha (Ellie and Nolan) novel Chapter 182

Chapter 182

Ellie POV

The afternoon sunlight filtered softly through the curtains, warm and lazy. The apartment smelled faintly of baby powder and pine, the window cracked open to let in the scent of rain from the night before.

Kieran sat cross-legged on the floor, holding one of the boys on his knee while the other gurgled happily in the blanket beside him. His laugh filled the space – low and easy, the kind of sound that made people want to trust him.

“They’re getting big fast,” he said, bouncing the baby gently. “At this rate, they’ll be running the pack by next spring.”

I smiled faintly from the couch, though it felt strained. “You’ll give them ideas saying things like that.”

“Good,” Kieran said, grinning. “Start them ambitious.”

I shook my head, amused despite myself. The twins loved him – or maybe they just loved the attention. They were always happy to spend time with their uncles, too.

Still, there was something in the air today that made me uneasy.

He’d been coming by often lately, sometimes with food, sometimes with gifts for the boys.

Always kind, always considerate. And yet… I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something beneath it all something calculated.

I had to remind myself that Kieran wasn’t courting me. At least not in the traditional sense. He wasn’t trying to win my affection; he was trying to show me that I could trust him as a provider and a protector.

This was a political arrangement, nothing more.

–

That’s how it started anyway. Just a political marriage. But every time he handed her flowers or some sweet treat it felt more like he was pushing boundaries than being considerate.

When both babies began to fuss, Kieran moved with easy confidence. “Here, let me.”

He picked Ian up from the blanket, settling him against his shoulder, rocking back and forth with practiced rhythm. The sound of his humming filled the quiet apartment, smooth and almost hypnotic. Within minutes, both twins were asleep.

I exhaled softly. “You’re good with them.”

He looked over his shoulder at me, smiling. “I like kids. They’re honest.”

I returned the smile, but there was an ache in it – a small, private tug of guilt. Nolan had missed all of this: the sleepless nights, the laughter, the first smiles. I’d told myself it was for the best, that he’d only bring chaos into the fragile peace I’d built. But now, watching Kieran with the boys, that certainty wavered.

Because even when things were calm, I didn’t feel peace.

Only distance. Only loneliness.

I wasn’t sure if that was just part of motherhood or if this was more pointed.

Kieran laid the boys gently in their crib, careful not to wake them. When he turned back to me, the quiet stretched between us. It was soft, heavy, full of things unspoken.

1/2

Chapter 182

+25 Bonus

I didn’t know how to put words to the complicated feelings that swirled every time I had these little domestic moments with him.

I rose from the couch, smoothing the front of my sweater. “Do you want some tea?”

“Sure,” he said, watching me with that steady, unreadable gaze.

I busied herself in the kitchen, grateful for something to do. The sound of running water as I filled the kettle was the only sound, and for a few blessed moments, I could almost pretend we were just friends, that the careful, deliberate closeness between us wasn’t there.

When I turned back, he was leaning against the counter near me, closer than I expected.

“Kieran,” I said, startled into a laugh, “you move quietly for someone your size.”

He smiled faintly. “Old habit.”

There was something in his tone that made me still.

“Kieran,” I said softly, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

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