I Forgot I Loved You Alpha (Ellie and Nolan) novel Chapter 197

Chapter 197

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If Alaric was right, then I was just overthinking things. Deep down, I knew what I wanted and it wasn’t Kieran. No matter how much I tried to force myself to picture a future with him, it just didn’t feel right.

I looked up, my brows knitting. “Do you think the goddess would bond me to someone I wasn’t meant to be with?”

Alaric looked surprised by the question. He placed his hand on my shoulder gently.

“I think the goddess doesn’t waste bonds,” he said simply. “But she also doesn’t force us to follow them. The bond might show you a path, but it’s up to you whether to walk it.”

I leaned back, staring out the window. Outside, the Moonstone gardens glowed under the midmorning sun, pale petals fluttering in the breeze. The sight reminded me of the meadow in my dream, my mother’s voice echoing through it.

The goddess doesn’t make mistakes.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I didn’t trust myself to believe it yet.

I turned back to Alaric. “I’m afraid to let him in again. Nolan, I mean. I don’t know what that would look like anymore.”

“What are you afraid of exactly?”

“Like I said before, I’m afraid that he’ll take the boys,” I said quietly. “That he’ll decide one day that I’m unfit or unworthy or-”

“Or that he’ll love them,” Alaric finished gently.

I blinked, startled.

“That’s what you’re really afraid of, isn’t it?” he said. “That he’ll love them the way he couldn’t love you easily, freely. That he’ll show them a softness you had to fight for.”

My throat constricted. “That’s not fair to him.”

“No. But it’s the truth, isn’t it?”

I gripped the mug tighter. “It is.” My voice was soft, barely audible. “I just don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like my heart and my head are giving me mixed signals, and the dreams aren’t helping.”

“You’re still having dreams about him?”

“All the time. I don’t know what it means.”

“I see,” he said thoughtfully.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind. Everyone seems to think that this should be intuitive, that I should just relax and suddenly it’ll all make sense, but it just doesn’t.”

“It’s okay if you don’t understand it yet. Your mother used to get visions that wouldn’t make sense for years.”

“Years?!”

“She used to say that the goddess doesn’t make mistakes, but sometimes her timing is bad,” he said with a fond

smile.

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“You’re saying there’s some context for this vision that I just don’t have yet?” I asked skeptically.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” he agreed. “I know that you feel pressured to make a decision about Nolan, but there’s no reason to rush yourself.”

“I just… I’m afraid to give him a chance and be disappointed again,” I admitted softly.

“Most people don’t know him,” Alaric said. “I’ve watched him these past few months. There’s a man under all that armor. One who’s learning what it means to let himself feel.”

I studied him quietly. “You sound like you believe he can change.”

“I do. I’ve seen what grief and guilt can do to a man. They can destroy him… or they can make him gentler.”

I nodded slowly, turning his words over in my mind. “A gentler Nolan? That sounds like a joke.”

The sound of approaching footsteps interrupted us. A young nurse stepped up to us, holding a sealed envelope.

“The results just came in, Alpha,” she said, offering it to Alaric.

“Thank you,” he said, setting it on the table between us.

When the nurse left, I stared at the envelope, my stomach twisting. It was silly to be nervous over something I already knew the answer to, but I was. “Are you going to open it?”

“Only if you want me to.”

My hand trembled slightly as I reached for it. The seal broke with a soft tear. One thin sheet of paper slid free, the words crisp and sterile on the page.

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