I Forgot I Loved You Alpha (Ellie and Nolan) novel Chapter 219

Chapter 219

“Not yet,” I said quietly.

“Yet,” Lance repeated, raising a brow. “That’s optimistic of you.”

I stared into my glass, the amber liquid catching the light. “It’s not optimism. It’s… conviction. I’ve spent most of my life thinking love was a weakness. Something that made you reckless. But it isn’t. It’s a choice. One you make every day to be better, to stay, even when it’s hard.”

—

Lance studied me for a long moment, his eyes glued to my face, though I couldn’t read his expression. “You sound like Alaric.”

I smiled faintly. “He might be rubbing off on me. I have been seeing a lot of him. He’s wiser than I gave him credit for.”

Lance chuckled under his breath. “You’re changing, big brother. I’m not sure if it’s impressive or terrifying how quickly. I guess you always have accomplished everything you put your mind to.”

My eyes drifted back toward the crowd. I could see Ellie in the distance now, seated near Alaric and Cassian.

My chest tightened.

“I want to be better for them,” I said quietly. “For all of them. I don’t expect Ellie to forgive me, but I want her to see that I can be different. That she was right about me – that I wasn’t beyond saving.”

Lance sipped his drink, thoughtful. “You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yes.” The word came easily. No hesitation, no shame. “I don’t think I ever stopped. I just didn’t know how to show it.”

Lance nodded slowly. “Then don’t tell her. Show her now. But not the way you used to. No grand gestures. Just… consistency. She’s seen what your temper looks like. Show her what your patience looks like. But for god’s sake, stop moping around and waiting for this to fix itself for you Inaction doesn’t suit you.”

I gave him a sideways glance. “Since when are you the expert?”

“Since I met Isla,” Lance said with a crooked grin. “Apparently, women don’t respond well to being told what to feel. Who knew?”

That earned a quiet laugh from me – small, but genuine. “You might be onto something.”

We stood in companionable silence for a while, watching as the last of the lanterns were lit.

Somewhere, music swelled again – a slower tune now, softer. I could almost picture Ellie still swaying in time to it, her head tilted toward the stars.

“I told her I love her,” I said after a long moment. “And I meant it. But I didn’t ask her to come back. I didn’t even ask for forgiveness.’

“)

Lance’s brows lifted. “That’s new.”

“It’s the truth,” I said. “I don’t want her to come back out of guilt or obligation. I want her to come back because she wants to. Because she can look at me and see something worth trusting again.”

Lance nodded. “That’s a good start.”

I turned the glass in my hand, watching the light refract. “She doesn’t owe me anything. But I owe her everything The least I can do is give her space to breathe.”

“And if she never comes back?” Lance asked quietly.

I didn’t answer right away. The question stung, but I forced myself to face it.

+25 Bonus

“Then I’ll still keep trying,” I said finally. “Not to win her but to be the kind of man who deserved her in the first place.”

For a long moment, there was nothing but the soft crackle of lantern flames and the distant hum of laughter. Then Lance clapped me on the shoulder, squeezing once before heading back toward the party.

I stayed where I was.

I could still hear Ellie’s voice echoing in my head – that trembling whisper when she’d said, You punished me instead.

I’d spent years convincing myself that power was protection, that dominance could be love. But standing here now, with the scent of moonlight and smoke around me and the memory of her tears still fresh, I realized that love wasn’t about control at all.

It was about surrender.

I set my glass down on the railing and straightened, the familiar warmth of determination filling my chest along with the sting of the whiskey.

I wouldn’t rush her. I wouldn’t corner her. I would simply be there.

I could never take away the pain that I had caused, but I could do everything possible to make sure she never had to feel that way again.

Maybe that would be enough.

Chap 220