I Forgot I Loved You Alpha (Ellie and Nolan) novel Chapter 94

Chapter 94

Ellie POV

Leaving the boys behind was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, and that was saying something considering the mess my life had been the past year.

I bent down, brushing a kiss over each of their foreheads, trying to memorize the warmth of their skin and the sound of their soft breathing as if that could sustain me until the next time I saw them. I hadn’t been away from them for more than a few hours since they were born.

Their little hands closed on my fingers as I touched their soft palms. It wasn’t a handhold, just an automatic reaction, but it still made my heart ache.

My chest hurt from the effort of not sobbing in front of them. They were too little to understand what was happening, too little to understand that anything was even happening. They were still too young to speak or understand and that only made it more difficult.

I couldn’t explain that I was going away for a little while and I couldn’t promise that I would be back. All they would know was that mommy didn’t come when they cried.

Cassian lingered in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the frame, his expression caught somewhere between protective and pained.

He didn’t push me to hurry, didn’t remind me that Nolan was waiting downstairs. He just watched, as though he knew this was a moment I needed to stretch out as long as possible, a thread of time I wasn’t ready to cut.

“I’ll come back as often as I can,” I whispered, my voice breaking as I smoothed the blanket over their tiny forms. “You’ll bring them to see me when it’s safe?”

Cassian straightened, his eyes softening. “You know I will. Nothing will stop me from making sure you’re with them.”

I finally tore myself away from their matching bassinets. I twisted my hands together as if I could somehow hold myself together through the pressure.

“He can’t know about them,” I said, my voice sharp, desperate. I turned to Cassian, reaching for him automatically. “Not yet. Not until I know it’s safe. I can’t risk Nolan finding out and deciding what’s best for them without me. I can’t…” My throat closed.

Cassian covered my hands with his own, steady and grounding. “Ellie,” he said firmly, “I gave you my word. The boys are yours. This secret stays between us. No matter what happens with Nolan. No matter what pressure he puts on me. I’ll protect them.”

His certainty was comforting, though it did little to ease the fractured feeling in my chest. “Thank you,” I breathed, letting go before I lost my grip on my stormy emotions.

He hesitated, then squeezed my shoulder gently. “You don’t have to thank me. You shouldn’t have to beg anyone to keep your children safe.”

I had no answer for that, only a choked nod before I forced myself to move past him, down the hall, each step heavier than the last. Every instinct screamed at me to turn back, to scoop my babies into my arms and never let go, but that wasn’t an option.

Not right now. Not with Nolan waiting, and so much at risk.

I didn’t want to leave Silver Fang in a state of panic, and I didn’t want to risk Nolan retaliating against Cassian for

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Chapter 94

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helping me. This was the only option that I had.

Cassian followed me downstairs, his presence like a shield at my back. When we stepped into the lobby, Nolan rose from his seat immediately, his entire focus snapping to me as if nothing else in the world existed.

The intensity of it made me falter for a heartbeat, but then Cassian’s hand brushed lightly against mine-a silent reminder, a silent promise. The boys were safe. The secret was safe.

I nodded once, squared my shoulders, and stepped toward Nolan.

Nolan POV

I called ahead before we left Moonstone, my voice clipped as I instructed the betas at the packhouse to prepare for her return. The words had felt foreign on my tongue, like I was afraid the line would go dead or someone would laugh and tell me it was all some kind of cruel trick.

After so many months of searching, so many sleepless nights and shouting matches with Felicity and the council, it felt surreal that I had finally found Ellie.

She was finally coming home.

The thought settled something deep inside me, a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying until it lifted. Relief washed through me in uneven waves, tempered by the tension still thrumming between us, but strong enough that I could almost believe things would go back to the way they used to be. Back to normal.

I hated the way my hands shook as I drove, hated that she sat so close beside me yet felt impossibly far away. I wanted to reach out, to take her hand, to reassure both of us that this wasn’t some dream I’d wake from.

But the tension in her posture warned me off. She stared out the window, her reflection pale against the glass, and I knew better than to push her right now.

Still, I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. “The pack’s going to lose their minds when they see you. They’ve been preparing for the worst this whole time. You being home-it’ll give them hope again.”

She didn’t look at me. “You’re assuming that’s what they want. That’s what you want.”

“Of course it’s what I want,” I snapped before I could temper it, then forced my tone gentler. “I’ve been out of my mind with worry, Ellie. I thought I lost you forever.”

Silence stretched between us, filled only by the hum of the engine and the pounding of my own heart. She didn’t argue, didn’t soften, just kept her gaze fixed on the darkening horizon as though the answer to everything lay somewhere out there, beyond my reach.

Or like she was looking at something else that I couldn’t see. Was she remembering something… or thinking of

someone.

The image of Cassian reaching for her hand flashed through my mind.

I gripped the wheel tighter, swallowing the sharp mix of frustration and longing.

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