I Left Before He Learned My Worth novel Chapter 36

**I Left Before He Learned My Worth**
**Chapter 36**

**ARIA**

I was halfway up the staircase leading to my quarters, fatigue weighing heavily on my limbs, when the pain struck me like a thunderbolt.

It was sharp, sudden—a piercing lance of agony that shot through my chest, forcing a gasp from my lips as I instinctively grasped the banister for support. It felt as if someone had plunged their hand deep into my ribcage, squeezing my heart with cold, iron fingers, twisting and turning until I was left breathless, trapped in a haze of suffering where all I could do was endure.

And then, just like that—nothing.

The pain vanished as swiftly as it had arrived, leaving me breathless on the stairs, my heart racing wildly, confusion swirling in my mind like a storm.

What in the world was that?

I pressed my palm against my chest, searching for any remnant of the pain, any sign of what had just transpired. But there was nothing—only the frantic thumping of my heart and the echo of fear coursing through my veins.

In a moment of instinct, I reached out through the bond to Kael, yearning for some form of reassurance or an explanation for the turmoil that had just unfolded.

But the bond felt… muted. It wasn’t entirely absent, but rather dampened, as if he had drawn an invisible curtain between us. I could still sense his presence somewhere in the pack house, but the usual clarity of our connection was obscured, shrouded in a veil of deliberate distance. A wave of unease washed over me as I realized he had intentionally closed off his side of the bond.

Why would he do that?

I lingered there on the stairs, caught in a moment of indecision. Should I seek him out, or should I respect his evident need for privacy? The future Luna within me urged me to investigate, to ensure that he was alright. But the woman still navigating the complexities of our relationship hesitated, uncertain.

Perhaps he needed space. Maybe something was unfolding that he didn’t want me to worry about just yet. Perhaps—

Just then, I noticed a flicker of movement in the hallway below, instinctively retreating into the shadows. Kael’s imposing figure passed by, heading toward the healer’s wing. Beside him, her hand resting casually on his shoulder, was Ivory.

They moved together with an ease that stung—a familiarity that felt like a dagger to my heart. Ivory spoke in low tones, her voice a soothing murmur that I couldn’t quite catch.

Through the partially muted bond, I sensed Kael’s emotions—hope intertwined with apprehension, determination tinged with fear. Whatever was unfolding, whatever was about to happen, he was clearly anxious about it.

And he hadn’t confided in me.

I watched as they disappeared into the healer’s wing, that uncomfortable twist in my chest returning with a vengeance. I should go to my quarters, I told myself. I should trust that if Kael truly needed me, he would reach out through our bond. I should respect his desire for privacy regarding whatever this was.

But my feet, driven by worry and a deeper, more troubling impulse, carried me down the stairs instead. Was it curiosity? Jealousy? A gnawing fear that I was already being excluded from significant pack matters before I had even officially become Luna?

I should have made my presence known. I should have stepped inside and demanded to know what was happening, asserting my right as his future mate to be involved in significant decisions regarding his health.

But something held me back. The way Ivory’s hands moved through his fur with such assuredness. The trust reflected in Kael’s eyes as he gazed up at her. The clear competence she displayed while I—I would have merely been in the way, another person to worry about, someone who didn’t understand healing or herbs or any of this.

A non-healer, I thought bitterly, the sting of Ivory’s earlier words about harvesting moonbeam plants properly echoing in my mind.

I retreated before anyone could notice my presence, making my way back to my quarters, the muted bond still thrumming in the background like a dull ache.

When sleep finally claimed me, it was restless and fragmented. I dreamed of Damon challenging Kael at the ceremony, but in my dream, Kael remained in wolf form, and Damon easily overpowered him. I dreamed of Ivory standing at Kael’s side during the bonding, her hands on him while I stood helplessly in the crowd. I dreamed of the bond snapping, pain flooding through me until I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but scream.

I woke several times throughout the night, reaching out for the bond only to find it still deliberately obscured from Kael’s end. Each time, that sense of exclusion deepened, intertwining with my anxiety about tomorrow’s ceremony until I felt as though I was drowning in uncertainty.

What if the treatment went awry? What if Kael was hurt and I wasn’t there because he hadn’t wanted me there? What if Ivory succeeded in breaking his curse, and he realized he no longer needed me—that the only reason he had agreed to this bonding was sheer desperation?

Those thoughts spiraled through the dark hours, rational and irrational fears intertwining until I could no longer discern which was which.

When the pain struck at five in the morning, I was wholly unprepared.