I Left Before He Learned My Worth novel Chapter 89

Chapter 89

ARIA

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Elder Morrison’s study was exactly what I’d expected-walls lined with ancient texts and pack records, a massive desk covered in careful notes, the scent of old paper and leather bindings filling the air. He looked up when I entered, gesturing to the chair across from his desk with a weathered hand.

“Luna Aria. Thank you for coming so quickly.”

I settled into the chair, folding my hands in my lap to keep them from trembling. “You said it was urgent. About Sera’s letter?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Morrison set down the pen he’d been holding and leaned back, studying me with eyes that had seen decades of pack politics and personal drama. “I wanted to speak with you privately. About the letter, yes, but more importantly about how you’re handling this situation.”

Something in his tone put me on edge. This wasn’t going to be a simple discussion of legal precedents and diplomatic options.

“I’m handling it,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

“Are you?” Morrison’s question was gentle but pointed. “Because from what I’ve observed over the past weeks, from the way you reacted to Ivory in the garden today, from how you’ve been carrying yourself-I see someone who’s struggling with something far deeper than just Sera’s

threats.”

I opened my mouth to deny it, to insist I was fine, but Morrison raised a hand.

“Please don’t insult my intelligence with platitudes, Luna Aria. I’ve been part of this pack for sixty years. I’ve watched countless leaders navigate complicated emotions while trying to maintain authority. And I recognize the signs of someone being eaten alive by jealousy and envy.”

The words hit like a slap because they were true. So painfully, obviously true that denying them would be pointless.

“I know,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I know I’m jealous of her. Of Ivory. Of everything she represents-her competence, her dedication, how much the pack loves her. I see the way people look at her and I know they’re comparing us. Wondering why Kael chose

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Chapter 89

me instead of her. And I…” I trailed off, not sure how to finish.

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“You feel like an imposter,” Morrison supplied. “Like you stumbled into a position that should have been hers by right. Like every day you’re here, you’re taking something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“Yes,” I admitted, relief flooding through me at having someone name what I’d been feeling. “Exactly that.”

Morrison nodded slowly. “That’s understandable. Natural, even, given the circumstances. But Luna Aria, you need to understand something crucial-Ivory is not competing with you. She’s not trying to prove she’s better or more worthy or more suitable for your position. She’s simply serving her pack the way she knows how. The way she’s always served.”

“But-” I started.

“No buts,” Morrison interrupted firmly. “Ivory’s dedication to this pack existed long before you arrived and will continue regardless of your presence. She’s not performing for comparison’s sake. She’s not trying to make you look inadequate. She’s just being who she’s always been-a healer who takes her responsibilities seriously and pushes herself to extremes in service of others.”

“That doesn’t make it easier,” I said, frustration creeping into my voice. “Knowing she’s not competing doesn’t change the fact that I feel inadequate next to her. That I see what she’s accomplished and know I’ll never measure up to that standard.”

“Then stop trying to measure up to her standard,” Morrison said simply. “Create your own standard. Find your own way of serving this pack that plays to your strengths instead of trying to replicate Ivory’s approach.”

“My strengths,” I repeated bitterly. “What strengths? I don’t have medical knowledge. I can’t create revolutionary compounds or save lives or inspire the kind of devotion Ivory commands. I’m just―”

“A survivor,” Morrison interrupted. “Someone who endured years in a pack that didn’t value her and still maintained her sense of self. Someone who had the courage to leave everything familiar when staying became untenable. Someone who’s willing to face her own insecurities honestly instead of hiding behind false confidence.” He paused, his expression softening. “Those are strengths too, Luna Aria. Different from Ivory’s, certainly. But no less valuable.”

I wanted to believe him. Wanted to accept that my own qualities had worth even if they weren’t as obviously impressive as Ivory’s accomplishments. But the doubt was so deeply rooted, so constantly reinforced by every comparison, that belief felt impossible.

“There’s something else,” I said quietly, deciding that if I was being honest about my jealousy, I

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might as well be completely honest. “Something that makes the comparison worse.”

“The intimacy between Kael and Ivory,” Morrison said, and it wasn’t a question.

My head snapped up. “You know about that?”

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“I suspected,” Morrison said. “Ivory was never particularly subtle, and Kael spent three years isolated with only her for company. It would have been more surprising if something hadn’t developed between them.” He studied my face carefully. “Does it bother you? Knowing they were lovers?”

“Yes,” I admitted, the word coming out more forcefully than I’d intended. “Yes, it bothers me. How am I supposed to compete with that? With years of shared intimacy and history? With the kind of bond that forms when someone dedicates themselves to saving you? I’ve been here less than two weeks, and I’m supposed to somehow build something that matters more than what they had?”

Morrison was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Did you sleep with Damon?”

The question caught me completely off guard. “What? I-that’s not-”

“It’s a simple question,” Morrison said calmly. “During the years you were devoted to him, during the time you spent being his emotional support and confidante, did you sleep with him?”

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