I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 203

Chapter 203

Atlas’s POV

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I felt lighter than I had in years. That conversation with Rory had done something to me. Maybe it was the fact that I finally said it out loud. Maybe it was the ring still sitting in my pocket like a promise. Maybe it was hearing him tell me not to screw it up instead of throwing a punch.

Whatever it was, I walked back into the house feeling relieved.

Hopeful, even.

The butler had told me Emery had been back for about thirty minutes, and all I could think was that I needed to find her. Needed to tell her everything. About Rory. About the ring. About the fact that for the first time in a long time, the future in my head didn’t feel impossible.

I was halfway down the hall, smiling like an idiot, when I heard it.

A sharp crack.

Then silence. My whole body went cold. I knew that sound.

A slap.

I didn’t think. Didn’t pause. Didn’t knock. I moved fast, shoving Emery’s bedroom door open just in time to hear my mother say…

“I wish the accident had killed you. Maybe then you’d finally be away from Atlas.”

Everything inside me snapped.

“Mom!”

My voice tore through the room. Emery turned first. Her hair was still damp, one hand pressed to her cheek, her eyes wide from shock more than pain. My mother stood a few feet away from her, chest rising and falling, her face twisted with the kind of rage I had never seen aimed so openly at someone I loved.

I got to Emery first.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

She said it automatically, but I wasn’t looking at her words. I was looking at the red mark already blooming across her cheek. Behind me, my mother took a shaky step forward. “A–Atlas…”

I backed away from her so fast it almost made her flinch.

“Don’t come closer.”

9:22 Fri, Apr 24

Chapter 203

“No, no, baby, I… I was just…”

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“How could you say that?” I shouted, pointing at her before I could stop myself. “How could you look Emery in the eyes and say something like that?”

“Atlas…” Emery started softly.

“No.” I cut her off, my eyes still locked on my mother. “No.”

My mother pressed both hands to her chest, already switching gears, already trying to put herself back together.

“Honey, I didn’t mean it. I was upset. It was a mistake. I’ve been stressed out, and my

health…”

“Don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t do that, Mom. Don’t stand there and act like stress made you wish she was dead.”

The room went dead still. Even the air felt wrong…Heavy.

My mother’s face had gone pale, but not pale enough to hide the panic moving underneath it. Her hands shook as she clasped them together, like if she looked fragile enough, maybe I’d soften.

I didn’t.

Not even a little. I had never felt anger like this. Not on the ice. Not in a fight. Not even in pain.

This was different. This was cold. The kind of anger that sat deep in your bones and made everything sharp.

“Atlas,” she said, her voice trembling now, “baby, I was upset. I didn’t mean it like that. You know I would

never…”

“Never what?” I cut in, my laugh coming out short and ugly. “Never hurt her? Never say something cruel? Because I just heard you.”

I shifted slightly without thinking, enough that my body blocked part of Emery from her. The second I did it, I felt Emery go quiet behind me. My mother saw it too. I knew she did because her whole face tightened.

“I am your mother,” she said, straightening up, trying to pull authority back around herself. “You do not get to speak to me like this over a girl.”

I froze. Then slowly turned my head toward her.

Over a girl.

Wrong thing to say. Very wrong thing.

When I looked back at her, I knew my face had changed because she took the smallest step back.

“She is not ‘a girl,”” I said, each word low and precise. “She’s Emery.”

My mother swallowed.

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Chapter 203

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“And if you ever,” I said, taking one step toward her now, “ever put your hands on her again, or speak to her like that again, I don’t care who you are to me….you will never have access to my life again. Do you understand

me?”

“Atlas!” she gasped, tears filling her eyes instantly. “How can you say that to me?”

I stared at her like I didn’t know who she was anymore. Maybe in that moment, I didn’t.

“How can you say what you said to her?” I shot back. “How can you slap her and wish she’d died in that accident? Do you hear yourself?”

She started crying for real then. Messy, shaky, dramatic. But for once, it didn’t move me. Didn’t soften a damn thing.

“I was angry,” she said. “I didn’t mean it. I just… I lost control.”

“Then get control.”

My voice cracked on the last word.

Barely.

But I heard it.

And I knew she heard it too. Because underneath all the anger, under all the disgust and disbelief, there was hurt.

Deep, ugly hurt.

The kind a son feels when his mother stops being who he thought she was. Behind me, I felt Emery shift.

“Atlas…”

I turned immediately. The second I saw her face, everything in me changed. Not gone. Never gone. But bent toward her.

I reached for her carefully, my fingers hovering near her cheekbone before I touched her at all. Like I needed to know how bad it was. Like I was afraid, even my hands might hurt her more.

“Did she hit you hard?” I asked quietly.

She shook her head. It didn’t matter. My jaw still locked.

Behind me, my mother made this broken little sound. “Atlas, please. Please, listen to me.”

I didn’t turn around.

“I’ve listened to you my whole life,” I said.

That line hit hard. I felt it in the room. In Emery. In my mother…In me.

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Chapter 203

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Then I finally looked back at her, and whatever she saw in my face must have told her I was done.

Completely done.

“I need you to leave,” I said.

She blinked. “What?”

“I said leave.”

“This is my house too…”

“No,” I said, sharper now. “Leave this room.”

She stared at me. Then at Emery. And I watched the exact second she realized I wasn’t bluffing.

Her mouth trembled. “You’re choosing her over me?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“I’m choosing what’s right over what you did.”

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