Infinite Mana In The Apocalypse novel Chapter 4994

Chapter 4994: Sensation I

It was an odd sensation.

Admitting something he always knew but did not want to think about had placed him here, in this moment, facing truths he had walled away behind achievements and certainties and the accumulated weight of everything he had accomplished. For all his past, he had been trying to infuse his existence with Infinities. His Infinite Formless Depth. His infinite foundation. An infinite this, an infinite that. Layer upon layer of endlessness crammed into every aspect of his being.

But no matter how many parts of himself he infused with Infinities, the core of who he was remained finite.

His mind was finite. His mentality was finite. His identity was finite. And every time he tried cramming Infinity into something finite, he limited it. Every time he expressed Infinity through himself, he constrained it. He was a straw trying to channel an ocean, and no matter how wide he made the straw, it would never be the ocean itself.

Even if he was successful on his previously set path, even if he continued cramming aspects of Infinity into himself and changed absolutely everything about his existence, there would still be Noah Osmont. His identity would always be finite because identity itself was a finite thing. For Noah Osmont to truly be Infinite was to no longer be Noah Osmont at all.

He was Noah Osmont because he was a son.

He was Noah Osmont because he was a father.

He was Noah Osmont because he was a husband, a leader, a builder of Civilizations, someone who cared about specific people and specific outcomes and specific futures.

He would have to lose this very identity if he were to truly cram in all of Infinity. At that point, he would become something else entirely. The same as the Principles themselves. A loose law of existence. One of the endless strings that held together Observable Existence.

He would not be Noah Osmont because he would no longer care about the things Noah Osmont cared about. He would be everything and nothing that resembled the person who had started this journey.

He could not not be him.

So he would have always remained finite.

But even saying this had been a frightening thing, because he had always asked himself a question that lurked beneath all his achievements and all his confidence. What if he lost his Infinity?

That would be equally catastrophic. He would have lost such a significant part of himself, the authority that had defined him since the moment Mana first changed everything. Without Infinity, what was he? Without that endless potential, who was Noah Osmont?

So he had locked away this thought.

He had not even thought about it.

He had built walls around it so thoroughly that even his own consciousness could not perceive what he was hiding from himself. The fear was not that he was finite. The fear was that admitting it would somehow take away the Infinity he had gained, that speaking the truth would make the truth punish him for acknowledging it.

But he had to face it eventually.

Today, he admitted and declared it.

And he felt... free.

But it was unfathomably hard to explain how he felt beyond that single word.

He felt empty in a way that should have been terrifying but somehow was not. Those immense waves of power that had always surrounded him, that immensity of his Depth and the weight he could press down to change existence itself, he felt like all of it was gone. The blue-gold flames that had defined his presence since his advancement into Absolute had vanished. The pressure that made lesser beings tremble in his vicinity had disappeared.

He truly felt normal, as if he had returned back to that day before he even utilized that fireball skill book so long ago. That mundane Noah Osmont who had been nothing special, just someone going about their day to day. Just surviving, but not really...living.

But at the same time, he did not feel normal.

What he could see now was truly hard to explain.

The massive hand of THE Primordial Armor, for example. He could not even touch the body of this existence before. His Geodesic Negations had passed through like wind through open windows. His Maws had phased through platinum surfaces without finding purchase. Beowulf existed at THE Second Scale, a level of reality that THE First Scale simply could not interact with unless THE Second Scale chose to permit interaction.

That hand was coming at him unfathomably fast.

It should have been impossible to perceive, let alone respond to. The gap between Scales meant that Beowulf’s movements occurred on levels that beings at THE First Scale could not process. The hand should have reached him before he even registered that it had moved.

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