Chapter 277
Jessa
The worst part about keeping a secret from someone you care about is how normal everything else still feels.
Lunch went on like any other day.
Jackson and Shane argued about something stupid.
Mariah rolled her eyes at them every five seconds.
Noah sat next to me like he always did, his knee bumping mine under the table every once in a while without either of us really -noticing.
It should have felt normal.
But inside my head, nothing felt normal anymore.
Because every time Noah looked at me, I kept thinking the same thing.
Just tell him.
And every time the thought came up…
I froze.
Not because I didn’t want him to know.
But because once I said it out loud, everything would change.
I sat there half listening to the conversation while pretending to scroll through my laptop.
Scholarships.
Financial aid.
Deadlines.
Every website looked the same after a while.
Apply.
Write an essay.
Submit transcripts.
Wait.
Hope.
Repeat.
My eyes were starting to blur together from staring at the screen.
I closed the laptop and pushed it away.
Mariah immediately noticed.
“You’ve been researching that stuff for like a week straight.”
I shrugged.
“College stuff.”
“That’s vague,” she said.
Jackson glanced over.
“Very vague.”
Noah didn’t say anything.
But I could feel him looking at me.
Which somehow made it worse.
Mariah leaned forward.
“Are you trying to secretly become a millionaire through scholarships or something?”
“That would be nice.”
Jackson snorted.
“Pretty sure everyone in this school would sign up for that.”
I smiled faintly, but my brain was still spinning through numbers.
Tuition.
Housing.
Books.
Every time I thought I might have found a scholarship that worked…
There was some requirement I didn’t meet.
Top GPA
Athletic achievements.
Leadership awards.
I had decent grades.
But nothing extraordinary.
Nothing that magically paid for a school three thousand miles away.
I rested my
chin in my hand.
“Maybe I should’ve joined twenty clubs and become student body president or something.”
Jackson laughed.
“Yeah, because that sounds like you.”
“Very funny.”
Mariah tilted her head.
“You’re really stressing about this college stuff, huh?”
I hesitated.
“Just thinking.”
That was technically the truth.
Noah finally spoke beside me.
“You’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.”
I glanced at him.
He wasn’t accusing.
Just observing.
That almost made it harder.
“College decisions are kind of a big deal,” I said.
He nodded slowly.
“Yeah.”
Jackson leaned back in his chair.
Jackson rolled his eyes.
For me…
“You’re definitely stressing yourself out,” she said quietly.
“Probably.”
“You should take a break.”
“From my future?”
She laughed.
“Okay, fair point.”
Students moved around us in waves as we walked down the hall.
Lockers slamming.
Voices bouncing off the walls.
Normal school chaos.
But my thoughts were somewhere else entirely.
Because I kept picturing the same moment.
The moment when I finally told Noah about Oregon.
The moment when his expression would change.
And I didn’t know if that change would be good…
Or the beginning of something painful.
Mariah bumped my shoulder.
“You’re doing it again.”
“What?”
“Thinking so hard your face looks like you’re solving world peace.”
I huffed out a small laugh.
“I wish my problems were that simple.”
She glanced at me sideways.
“You know you can tell me stuff, right?”
I knew that.
Mariah had always been honest with me.
But this wasn’t just my secret.
It involved Noah too.
And somehow saying it out loud made it feel even more real.
“I know,” I said softly.
Then I forced a smile.
“I’m just figuring things out.”
Mariah didn’t push.
She just nodded.
But as we turned down the hallway toward class, the same thought kept circling my mind again.
I was running out of time.
Because secrets have a way of finding their way into the open…
Even when you’re not ready for them to.

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