Chapter 176
ARIA
Finished
It took longer than it had for Kael-my technique was clumsy, my patience less practiced. But eventually, I felt the tug on the line that meant a fish had taken the bait. I pulled it in, less gracefully than Kael but successfully, feeling absurdly proud of the small fish I’d caught.
“Well done,” Kael said with genuine approval. “Natural talent.”
“Or beginner’s luck,” I countered, but I was smiling despite myself.
We cooked my fish alongside his, and ate them sitting by the stream, using our fingers and laughing at how messy it was. It was simple. Almost childlike in its simplicity. And it was the most relaxed I’d felt since arriving in Shadowmere.
“This is nice,” I said again, meaning it more deeply this time. “Just being together. No crisis. No politics. Just
us.”
“It is,” Kael agreed. He reached over and wiped a bit of fish from my cheek with his thumb, the gesture intimate and casual. “We should do this more often. Make time for moments like this instead of letting pack business consume everything.”
“That sounds good,” I said, and meant it.
But even as I enjoyed the moment, even as I let myself relax into this peaceful afternoon with my mate, part of my mind kept returning to what he’d almost said earlier.
*It made Ivory laugh.*
The memory he’d stopped himself from sharing. The countless other memories he probably carried of her. Of their years together during his curse. Of the connection they’d built that I was now expected to somehow supersede.
How did you compete with years of shared history?
With memories of laughter and intimacy and all the small moments that built real connection? How did you make someone’s wolf accept you when that wolf had already claimed someone else?
I didn’t know. Wasn’t sure it was even possible.
But sitting there by the stream, with Kael relaxed beside me and the afternoon sun warm on my face, I could at least pretend it might be. Could let myself enjoy this moment without constantly comparing it to
what he’d had before me.
Could try to be present in my own life instead of living in the shadow of someone else’s.
It was a start, at least.
C
Small, fragile, but a start.
“Should we shift now?” I asked after we’d finished eating and cleaned up. “Actually do the hunting you
14:36 Mon, Dec 29 MGR
Chapter 176
mentioned?”
Finished
Kael’s expression became slightly guarded again. “We could. Or we could stay like this a bit longer. Keep talking. Keep being human together.”
He was hesitating. I could see it clearly now. Whatever Nina had said to him about his wolf, about whether his wolf had accepted our bond-it had made him uncertain about shifting. About letting that part of himself interact with me.
Which just confirmed what I’d overheard. His wolf hadn’t accepted me. And Kael was worried about what would happen if we both shifted. If his wolf was confronted with me instead of Ivory. If the instinctive rejection I’d been trying to ignore became impossible to deny in wolf form.
“We can stay like this,” I said, not pushing. If he needed more time, more human interaction to build connection before risking his wolf’s reaction, I could give him that.
But the knowledge sat heavy in my chest. Another confirmation that I was second choice. That some part of my mate-the instinctive, wolfish part-didn’t want me and maybe never would.
Kael smiled, relief evident in his expression. “Good. Tell me more about your herb gathering. What plants did you look for? What remedies did you know how to make?”
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