Chapter 274:
Julie’s POV
Olivia’s words fell upon my ears like drops of acid, searing away whatever was left of my certainty and reviving an army of black doubts and suspicions within me. I felt a piercing coldness sweep through my limbs, as if the blood that had been boiling just moments ago had suddenly frozen in my veins. Could Robert that man whose depths I inhabited for a single night really do this to me? Could he forget, with such terrifying simplicity, everything that passed between us? Every feverish touch, every mingled breath, and every whispered "I love you" that my heart claimed it heard?
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt the air in the hallway grow scarce, so I headed to my room with staggering steps, as if the ground were shifting beneath me. My heart was beating with a violent agitation, like a caged bird striking its wings against my ribcage to tear it apart. Muddled thoughts tossed in my mind like raging waves on a stormy night at times lifting me up to believe in his love, and at others dragging me down to the bottom of the ruin Olivia had described.
I tried to gather the scattered remains of my soul, shaking my head with desperate force as if trying to expel the nightmares Olivia had planted in my imagination. "No... no," I whispered to myself in a muffled voice, "Robert would certainly never do this... not him."
I began to replay the tape of my memories with him. I remembered those jealous glares that would ignite in his eyes whenever anyone approached me; I remembered how he would transform into a predatory beast, threatening to kill any man who dared even to look at me or touch the hem of my dress. How could he now, with utter simplicity, sell me to another? How could he accept another man touching the body he was fucking yesterday with such possessive ownership?
He would never do it, I screamed within me, trying to silence the voice of doubt. I am certain of that in the deepest point of my soul. Even if he decided to leave me, or even if it reached the point of hating and rejecting me, he would never reach such extreme baseness. Robert possesses a pride that outweighs his desire for revenge or so I was deluding myself, clinging to the last shred of his image that had begun to fade before my eyes behind the fog of deception.
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Robert’s POV
What I did yesterday was a suicide of my dignity and pure madness. How did I allow the walls I built with my blood and sweat to crumble so easily? How did I surrender and go to her room like a crushed man? I tightened my grip until my bones almost pierced my skin and my knuckles turned white, as I remembered her surrendered features under the dim bathroom light, and the sound of her moaning that was shredding my composure.
I lost control over the reins of myself, and I blamed it on the alcohol, even though I know deep down that my thirst for her was stronger than any intoxication.
Fifteen days of fighting an army of desires within me I saw hell itself in every night I spent away from her body. I would stand at her door like a vagrant, leaning my head against the cold wood, closing my eyes and trying to inhale her scent lingering in the cracks, trying to feel the vibrations of her presence behind that cursed door that imprisoned her and imprisoned my heart along with her.
I missed her to the point of madness, to the point of murder. I comforted myself with her image alone, those features that made her look like a pure angel. I felt a bitter lump choking my throat; damn me! I couldn’t hate her as I should. I couldn’t uproot her from my heart even though she carries the genes of that woman who destroyed my life! But at the same time, I couldn’t approach her normally and forget the origin of the tainted blood running in her veins... Violet’s blood.
Whenever I drowned in her eyes or touched the softness of her skin, the image of my mother committing suicide blood covering her cold body would leap before my eyes like a loud nightmare.
That memory is what makes me recoil; it’s what pushes me to treat Julie with that savage cruelty that tears my soul before it tears hers. I regretted going to her room. How did I allow myself to weaken while I was fucking her with such yearning? How did I let my heart speak instead of my mind?
Damn this helplessness! I couldn’t fuck another woman but her. It was as if her body were a magical curse that made me loathe all women and lust for her alone, despite all the hatred I carry for her origin. And for some reason, in a moment of ecstasy that clouded my mind, I confessed my love to her... damn me! I should never have done that! I won’t be a second version of my weak father. I won’t love Violet’s daughter, who is a carbon copy of her mother’s lethal beauty.
The day passed heavy as stone. I hated myself, the silence of the club, and the crowd of my thoughts. I needed an exit, anything to erase the trace of Julie from my skin and my mind. I remembered Sarah... Sarah, whom I hadn’t visited in an entire month, the one who was always my quiet sanctuary. I must go to her now. I must use another body to erase the image of Julie from my memory that is tainted by her.
I stood up with a body weighed down as if the world’s burdens were on my shoulders. I headed downstairs with mechanical steps toward Sarah’s room. I needed to feel anything other than this ache.
And the moment I placed my hand on the handle and pressed it to open, her voice echoed behind me... a voice that made my entire being shudder, a voice I know among a thousand.
"Robert."

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