My Husband Chose His Ex I Became His Regret novel Chapter 65

Chapter 65

Chapter 65

Lila

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Patricia’s office smells like lavender and leather, and this, the third time I’m crying into a tissue in the last twenty minutes.

“I can’t believe I feel this way,” I say, twisting the tissue into a ball and grabbing a fresh one. “I should be happy. Mark lost everything. His company. His reputation. Everything. This is what I wanted; this is what I worked for. So why do I feel like this?”

“Like what?” Patricia asks me gently while sitting in her chair across from me.

“Like I’m the bad guy. It feels as if I’m responsible for ruining someone’s life and while I’m not guilty, I don’t have any feeling of satisfaction. I am just…” I pause to find the right word, “…empty.”

“Empty.”

“Yes! I feel like there is a hole in place of all the things I should feel; a hole in place of victory. It is just nothing. It is emptiness.”

Patricia writes something down in her notebook. “Lila, what did you think revenge feel like?”

“I don’t know. Glorious? Awesome? Like I finally won! And Mark finally lost! And then…I…” I pause, “Vindicated. I thought I would feel vindicated.”

“And how do you feel now?”

“I feel worn out. I feel sad for crying. I feel confused about why I am sad because Mark is a criminal and mistreated me for years and ultimately destroyed whatever self-worth I had; and he deserves whatever is happening to him right now; but I remember when Mark was this wonderful person. When I met him and he was charming and generous and treated me like I was something special in his life. And that person doesn’t exist anymore. Or maybe that person never existed. Its sad, just sad.”

“But I don’t want to mourn him. I don’t want to feel anything for him. I want to feel strong and powerful and like I won.”

“Who says you didn’t win?”

I look up at her. “What?”

“Who says you didn’t win? You left an abusive marriage. You rebuilt your life. You’re succeeding professionally. You found love, complicated love, but love. You stood up for yourself publicly. You refused to be silenced. Those are wins, Lila. Mark losing everything? That’s just a consequence of his own actions. Not your victory.”

“But Aidan…”

“Aidan provided evidence of crimes. That’s all. The SEC investigated. They found evidence. Mark is facing consequences. That’s how justice works.”

10:19 Wed, May 13

Chapter 65

“Is it justice? Or is it revenge?” I crumple another tissue. “I don’t know the difference anymore.”

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Patricia leans forward. “The difference is intention. Revenge is about making someone suffer because they hurt you. Justice is about appropriate consequences for harmful actions. Which one describes what happened to Mark?”

“I think about it. The embezzlement. The fraud. The threats. The stalking. “Mark committed actual crimes. Multiple crimes. The consequences he’s facing are. they’re what happens when you break laws.”

“Exactly. If Mark had been a good CEO who treated you badly but stayed within legal bounds, he’d still have his company. But he didn’t. He chose to commit crimes. Those choices have consequences. That’s justice, not revenge.”

I asked, ‘So what do I do about Aidan?’

Patricia asked, ‘What do you want to do about Aidan?’

Hmmm… I thought. I love him, but I don’t trust him. So do you have love without trust?

‘Why don’t you trust him?’ Patricia asked me.

I said, “Because he keeps secrets from me. He makes decisions for me. And takes it upon himself to decide what I can handle and what I can’t handle. I’m afraid this is how my relationship with Mark started. ‘I’m trying to protect you’ becomes, ‘I’m controlling you’, and I’m not going through that again.”

Patricia said, ‘Is he controlling you or is he learning how to love you and is simply making mistakes along the way?’

What’s the difference?”

“Intent. Control is about power. Care is about love. They can look similar from the outside. But the motivation is completely different.”

I think about Aidan. About the way he held me after the interview. The way he defended me to the board. The way he looks at me like I’m something precious. “He loves me. I know he loves me.”

“And Mark? Did he love you?”

The question hits hard. “I thought he did. But looking back-no. Mark loved having me. Loved controlling me. But he never loved me. Not really.”

“And Aidan?”

“Aidan-” I stop. Think about it honestly. “Aidan loves me. Actually loves me. The real me. Not the version of me he’s trying to create. He just-” I search for words. “He just sometimes forgets I’m strong enough to handle hard things.”

“Because?”

“Because I spent a year showing him broken Lila. Scared Lila. The woman who flinched at loud noises and apologized for existing. He’s trying to protect that version of me. Except I’m not her anymore.”

10:19 Wed, May 13 N

Chapter 65

“So tell him that.”

“I tried-”

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“Tell him again. And again. Until he understands that protection isn’t what you need. Partnership is.” Patricia closes her notebook. “Lila, you’ve been through tremendous trauma. Aidan watched you heal from that trauma. It’s natural for him to be overprotective. But you’re right-you’re not fragile anymore. You need him to see that. Trust that. And that takes time. Communication. Patience.”

“What if I don’t have patience? What if I just want someone who trusts me to handle things from the start?”

“That person doesn’t exist. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone occasionally makes decisions for the people they love because they’re scared or protective or just not thinking clearly. The question is-can Aidan learn from his mistakes? Can he do better?”

Can he? I think about the last few days. The way he immediately gave me space when I asked. The way he didn’t make excuses, just apologized. The way he told me the whole truth about the Lee Corporation contract, even knowing it might push me away.

“He’s trying,” I say quietly. “He’s not perfect. But he’s trying.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Trying. To trust him. To give him a chance to prove he’s different than Mark. Or are you just waiting for him to mess up so you can confirm your worst fears?”

The question stings because it’s true. I’ve been looking for evidence that Aidan is like Mark. Finding parallels where maybe they don’t exist. Conflating mistakes with abuse.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “I’m so scared of being controlled again. Of losing myself again. Of waking up one day and realizing I’m back where I started.”

“That’s valid. But Lila, fear can be as controlling as any person. If you let fear dictate your choices, you’re not free. You’re just imprisoned by a different jailer.”

“So what do I do?”

“You decide. Is the risk of loving Aidan worth the potential pain if he hurts you? Is the possibility of a real partnership worth the fear that it might not work out? Only you can answer that.”

I sit with the question. Is Aidan worth the risk?

I think about Singapore. About the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. About the way he held me after the interview. About the way he said “I love you” like it was the most natural thing in the world.

About the way he gave me space when I asked. Even though I could see it was killing him.

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