My Second Chance Mate is a Barbarian (Sera and Fenris) novel Chapter 38

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Sera

The room went silent. The fire in the hearth popped, throwing a spray of orange sparks against the stone.

"Are you angry at her?" Mina asked.

I laughed again. It was that same bitter, ugly sound. "I don't know what I am. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m confused. Part of me wants to scream at her the second she steps off that carriage. I want to ask her why she didn't fight for me. Why she just sat there and watched my life get traded away."

I paused. I looked at my shaking hands.

"And the other part?" Mina prompted.

"The other part just wants her to hold me," I whispered. "I want her to tell me everything is going to be okay. Even if I know it’s a lie. I just want to feel like someone is on my side."

Mina nodded slowly. "That makes sense."

"How does that make sense?" I snapped, looking at her. "I'm a mess. I can't even figure out if I want to see my own mother or if I want her to stay a thousand miles away."

Mina shrugged. She didn't look bothered by my tone. "Feelings don't have to make sense, Sera. They just are. You can hate her and want her at the same time. It doesn't make you crazy. It just makes you real."

I stared at her. For a second, the mask she usually wore—the one of the cheeky servant or the defiant princess—was gone. She looked older. She looked like she knew exactly what it felt like to want something from a parent that they weren't capable of giving.

"What about your mother?" I asked.

Mina’s face changed instantly. It closed off, the lines around her mouth tightening. She looked back at the fire. "She died when I was very young. I barely remember what she looked like. I have a few memories of her hair, and a song she used to sing. That’s it."

"I'm sorry," I said.

Mina shrugged again, a quick, dismissive movement. "It’s fine. I had Dimitri. That was enough for me."

The silence returned, heavier this time.

"What was he really like?" I asked. "Dimitri. Everyone talks about him like he was a saint. Like he was perfect."

Mina looked at me. There was a flicker of surprise in her eyes, followed by a quick flash of caution. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just asking," I said. "I want to know if the man I was supposed to marry was actually the hero everyone says he was."

Mina went quiet for a long moment. She seemed to be picking her words carefully. "He wasn't a saint," she finally said. "He was just... good. Actually good. He didn't pretend to care about people for the sake of the crown. He just cared. He saw people exactly as they were."

She paused, her gaze softening. "He was the only one who looked at me and didn't see a bastard or an Omega. He just saw Mina. He made sure I knew that I mattered, even when the rest of the pack looked right through me."