My Stepbrother's Dirty Little Secret novel Chapter 339

Chapter 339

I still talked through the helmet, even though my voice was muffled, he still understood me. At first, we just talked about random things, the architecture of the old buildings we passed, the way the morning light hit the glass towers in the distance, and how the city felt completely different when everyone else was still asleep.

I tightened my arms around his waist, burying my helmet against his jacket, breathing in the scent of his leather and the fresh morning air. And suddenly, I wanted more, every dark corner of his soul, every cold and logical piece of his brain, I wanted it all.

“Raphael?” I asked, my voice echoing inside my helmet. “Can I ask you something real?”

“Ask,” his voice came back.

“What are you afraid of?” I asked, “What is your biggest fear?”

There was a short silence between, filled only by the sound of the engine.

“I don’t have any,” Raphael replied. His tone wasn’t arrogant or bragging, he said it perfectly flat, like he was stating a simple mathematical fact, “Fear is just an emotional reaction to a lack of data or a lack of control. If you understand the variables in any given situation, there is no logical reason to experience fear. You simply look at the problem, calculate the risk, and execute the solution.”

I smiled against the inside of my visor, shaking my head at how perfectly rational his brain worked.

“You know, it really impresses me how you do that,” I murmured, looking out at the beautiful, empty road ahead of us, “In real life, when we are at the office, you are this incredibly intelligent know-it-all. You think through everything. You are so calm, so logical, and everything you say makes perfect sense.”

I paused, remembering the pistol in his hand just a little while ago, and the cold look in his eyes when he shot that man without even blinking.

“But then you go on these hunts,” I continued, “And you completely change. You turn into this wild, dangerous animal who doesn’t follow any rules at all. It’s crazy how you can be the smartest, most rational man in the city, and then become a complete monster whenever you want to.”

The heavy rumble of the motorcycle engine filled the silence between us as we cruised past a long stretch of green grass overlooking the water. I held onto him tighter, leaning my head against his broad back.

“How do you just switch it off, Raphael?” I asked through the helmet, my voice echoing in the small space, “How do you keep those two sides of you so far apart? It is like you put your life into different, separate boxes. One box is for the smart businessman in the suit, and the other box is for the monster in the woods. How do they never mix?”

Raphael took a smooth turn, his body leaning perfectly with the heavy bike. His voice came back into my ears, deep and husky.

“I just told you how it works, Gianna,” he said, “It is simple organization. The violence is inside me. It has been engraved in my DNA since the day I was born. It is a part of who I am, and it does not go away. But keeping it locked up in a box inside my mind is the only healthy way to live. The hunts are my release. I open that specific box in the woods, I let the violence out so it can breathe, and then I close the box tightly before I put my suit back on. It is a system. A system keeps everything running perfectly.”

I listened to him, amazed by how easy he made it sound. But my mind kept twisting the idea around, wondering about the boundaries of his control.

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“Okay, but what if something really pisses you off in real life?” I asked, my tone turning a little curious and testing. “What if you are sitting at your big desk in the office, normally doing your work, and someone pushes your buttons? Are you telling me you won’t ever act on those violent impulses during the day?”

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