"Is this what we’ve become?" A soft, sorrowful voice made Jon groan. He tilted his head to the shelves.
There, shuffling through the brightly coloured book was himself, back when he still had hair. There was this soft, bitter smile this him always had. It pissed Jon immensely.
This again? His hallucinations were getting worse. Everything had been growing worse ever since Cain gave him those Obsidians that locked the souls of their kills in their inner worlds of damnation.
"Look at what we’ve lost. All for a girl who’s long dead and never even had affection for us. Isn’t that the truth, older me?" The young Jon stared pointedly at him.
’Adonis, Godfrey, Adonis, God...’ Jon began to recite names in his mind.
"We should have let go when we still had the chance. Had I known my path would lead down here, I would never have taken it and put you through this. We once fought against Fanatics, now we lead a deadly bunch, abducting adults and children alike. Once we stopped groups like these. Once we—!"
"Shut up!" Jon grabbed the desk like it weighed no more than a ball and tossed it at the shelves. It went through his younger self and shattered the shelves. Books scattered across the classroom, some half-open, others still closed.
"It’s Godfrey’s fault," he whispered, unaware he was speaking aloud. The Crusaders by the door looked at each other. His episode had begun... once again.
The young Jon scoffed, squatted, and began to pick up the books. "We both know it’s our fault. Godfrey isn’t in control of our emotions. We are. We went too deep, didn’t we? That’s why I’m here and why you’re insane."
Jon began to kick and rip the books apart. He realized he’d gone too deep. There was no going back, the line had been crossed.
It was awful, he had cried, hated his earlier reaction. Maybe if he was softer, Isolde wouldn’t have backed away, maybe, maybe—
Regardless, he would claim what he had become, embrace it. Yes, he was the man a younger version of himself once hated.
Yes, jealousy had thrown him over the cliff, but what was the use of sulking over it at this point?
’I’m damned,’ a part of him whispered. "No. I’m liberated!" He bellowed. Wasn’t it true? Wasn’t he damned to live as Harrowing Omen, tormented by his own flesh and monstrosity after death?
So why not drag down Adonis and Godfrey with him? With what all three of them had done, they’d all end up with the same fate.
There was no use letting them go.
He was a failure to his parents. Jon wished they’d never given birth to him, and this... drove him to kill them. His entire family.
"Jon!" His mother’s high-pitched scream rang in his ears once more. As loud as it was back then. Did he really murder his family because of his pain?
No, that wasn’t the only reason. He also wanted to remove a weakness. It was better that they died by his hand than Snow’s. This way, Snow would never find vengeance.
It was better this way, he told himself, but that action might have fully triggered his mental instability.
Jon snapped, eyeing the Crusaders. "What are you looking at?! Find him!!" Veins bulged along the length of his throat, his voice harsh and cold.
"It’s not madness—"
"You’re marching straight into the maws of death. Whatever happens in there, it’s not you stepping out. It’s... it’s not my friend." Percival watched his face, appalled as he saw that the light in Godfrey’s one eye remained unchanged.
"It’s better than you and the others sacrificing yourselves because I’m afraid."
A fierce glow burst from Percival’s eyes. He shot to his feet, glaring at him. "Godfrey! Are you trying to be unreasonable for the sake of it?!"
Godfrey would be lying if he said Percival’s outburst didn’t shock him. Percival wasn’t that kind of person. To make him flare up like this... it had to be about a choice such as this.
He would also react like this, maybe even worse, if these words came from Percival’s lips. Especially when he thought there was a better solution. But now, he had to convince Percival properly to ensure the blue-haired man wouldn’t jump to face the Bermuda Triangle trial.
"We have a contingency plan. An elaborate one to restore me after the trial, and I’m positive it would work."
Percival lifted an eyebrow.
"I’ll be the decider of that. What’s this plan?"
Godfrey was baffled. It felt like he was reporting himself to his elder brother.

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