She Was Never Just the Billionaire’s Wife (Natasha and Chase) novel Chapter 202

(Natasha)

My therapist's name is Sandra and she doesn't decorate her office.

Weirdly, that was the thing that made me decide I could keep coming after my first appointment.

No inspirational prints.

No Live. Love. Laugh.

No fern.

No colorful abstract painting.

A chair, a couch, a small table with tissues that are close enough to reach if I need them, but not so close that it’s telling me I’m doing therapy wrong because I’m not crying.

The only thing on the wall is a clock.

It's three-fifteen on a Thursday and I have ten minutes left of my session.

"You haven't mentioned Jeffrey Bauer or Chase today. Is there a reason for that?"

“I’m trying to avoid thinking about Chase.”

She doesn't say anything. Just waits for me to continue.

The silence always works on me. I’d be terrible at keeping state secrets.

They wouldn’t even have to torture me. They could just stare at me patiently.

"I had a conversation with him on Tuesday. I told him I think he's in love with someone he made up. I’m not that girl on the beach anymore."

"And what was his response?"

"He said he loves me, but how can I be sure? He could spend the rest of his life saying he loves me and I could spend it suspecting it's not me he loves. He has to prove that it’s true."

She tilts her head to the side.

"Natasha. What would proof look like?"

I open my mouth and then have to close it again.

"I don't know."

"Think about it for a minute. You expect him to show you somehow that he knows the difference. Tell me one thing he could do that would convince you of his sincerity."

I try to conjure something, but nothing springs to mind.

"I don't know. I'm asking him to show me he loves the person I am and not the girl in his memory, and the only person who could verify that is him, and I don't trust his verification. It’s a loop."

"That's worth a conversation."

"With him?"

"With yourself first. Maybe with me, if you’d like to talk about it. With him once you have a clearer picture in your mind."

I rub my eyes.

"I had a nightmare again on Saturday."

"What about?"

"The chloroform one. It ran into my ear this time. I woke up trying to claw my own ear off."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Nathanial."

"Not Chase?"

"No."

"Why not?"

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